Parent Effectiveness Training

Domain III · Humanistic, existential & experiential · Thomas Gordon · 1962

What it is

P.E.T. is a structured psychoeducational skills course for parents, not a psychotherapy. Psychologist Thomas Gordon taught the first course in 1962; the book followed in 1970 and GTI now licenses certified instructors in many countries. It sits in the Rogerian family because its core listening…

Format

• Format of the official course
• Eight weekly sessions of 3 hours (24 hours), groups of about 12–20 parents of children aged 0–18.

Who practises it, and how they are trained or regulated

• Version followed: the current Gordon Training International (GTI) "Gordon Model" for P.E.T. as presented in GTI's 2018 model summary, the 2017 P.E.T. Participant Workbook excerpts GTI publishes, and the CEBC programme profile, cross-checked against Gordon's book Parent Effectiveness Training (1970; revised 2000). Linda Adams's three extra I-Message types (declarative, preventive, positive/appreciative) are…
• P.E.T. is a structured psychoeducational skills course for parents, not a psychotherapy. Psychologist Thomas Gordon taught the first course in 1962; the book followed in 1970 and GTI now licenses certified instructors in many countries. It sits in the Rogerian family because its core listening skill, Active Listening, is Carl Rogers's empathic reflection, which Gordon named and taught to lay parents.
• For a clinician, P.E.T. is used in three ways: delivering the licensed 8-session group (requires GTI instructor certification), teaching its skills individually inside parent work or family therapy, or using the model to coach parents between sessions. Only the first is P.E.T. proper; the other two are adaptations.

Questions to explore with your client

• What drew you to it, and what are you hoping it will change?
• Is there physical contact? Was it explained beforehand, and do you feel free to say no or stop at any point?
• Does it involve any substance, plant preparation, remedy or supplement? Has your doctor or prescriber been told, especially about any medication you take?
• Is it a group, retreat or community? How do they respond if someone wants to leave or raises a concern?
• Does it use a device, heat, cold, water or a physical procedure? Has a medical professional checked that it is safe for you?
• Who runs it, and what training or registration do they hold?
• What actually happens in a session or meeting, and how often?
• What does it cost, and is there pressure to commit to more?
• How do you feel afterwards, in the hours and days that follow?
• Does it fit with, or clash with, the work we do here?

What practitioners of it watch for

• The question becoming an interrogation (a Roadblock).
• Suppressing real feeling (incongruence) rather than identifying it.
• A pre-decided rule presented as a "discussion" (children detect this and disengage).
• Mismatched affect (cheerfulness while the child is upset); overuse that sounds mechanical.
• Turning it into an order ("You will tidy by six"). Working: the child volunteers how they will help.

When to involve someone else

• New or worsening physical symptoms, or advice to stop or change prescribed medication: involve the client's doctor or prescriber.
• Signs of coercion, isolation from family and friends, escalating costs or secrecy: discuss openly and consider safeguarding.
• A crisis or thoughts of suicide: follow your crisis protocol. In the US, call or text 988; in the UK and Ireland, Samaritans on 116 123.

Drawn automatically from the guide's own sections. Stay curious: neither endorse nor dismiss what the client values, and check anything that matters against the full guide and its sources. Not medical advice.