Recovering from Religion

Domain V · Systemic, relational, group & community · Darrel Ray · 2009 · Kansas City, Kansas, USA

What it is

RfR is not a therapy and not a manualised programme. It is a US non-profit (501(c)(3), based in Kansas City, Kansas), founded in 2009 by the psychologist Darrel Ray. It runs peer-support services for people who are doubting, changing or leaving religious belief, or who are dealing with the effects…

Format

• RfR has no phases, session counts or progression criteria. It is a set of services that people can use in any order and as often as they like. The published structure of each service is below. After it comes a clinician pathway for using the services in treatment, which is my own synthesis.
• Support groups

Who practises it, and how they are trained or regulated

• Training. The current volunteer page describes full training "over 8-10 weeks". It covers active listening and responding to religious harm. At launch in 2015, training was described as about 10 hours, covering software, process and simulated calls. Two psychologists vetted the programme, and calls were monitored and reviewed with feedback.
• Screening. Before listing a therapist, the STP checks three things: the therapist is appropriately licensed in their state or country;
• Client sign-up. Clients register with very little information. Their confidentiality is protected until they choose a therapist to contact.

Evidence status, as the guide reports it

• the therapist uses evidence-based treatments.

Questions to explore with your client

• What drew you to it, and what are you hoping it will change?
• Is there physical contact? Was it explained beforehand, and do you feel free to say no or stop at any point?
• Is it a group, retreat or community? How do they respond if someone wants to leave or raises a concern?
• How do you and the practitioner understand what is happening, in spiritual or cultural terms? Is that a source of comfort, worry, or both?
• Who runs it, and what training or registration do they hold?
• What actually happens in a session or meeting, and how often?
• What does it cost, and is there pressure to commit to more?
• How do you feel afterwards, in the hours and days that follow?
• Does it fit with, or clash with, the work we do here?

What practitioners of it watch for

• Retraumatising detail in harm stories. Hours of scrolling that replace in-person contact.
• Groups drifting into anti-religious debate, which breaks the neutrality that RfR practice depends on.
• The client marking where they think you want them to be. Make clear again that you have no stake in the answer.
• Safety, custody or financial dependency. Where these are present, slow down and get legal or social-work input.
• Clients comparing their "progress" with others'. Clients taking on someone else's anger without it being their own.

When to involve someone else

• New or worsening physical symptoms, or advice to stop or change prescribed medication: involve the client's doctor or prescriber.
• Signs of coercion, isolation from family and friends, escalating costs or secrecy: discuss openly and consider safeguarding.
• A crisis or thoughts of suicide: follow your crisis protocol. In the US, call or text 988; in the UK and Ireland, Samaritans on 116 123.

Drawn automatically from the guide's own sections. Stay curious: neither endorse nor dismiss what the client values, and check anything that matters against the full guide and its sources. Not medical advice.