Vows

Domain XIII · Contemplative & religious disciplines

What it is

A vow is a voluntary, sacred promise binding the person to an obligation beyond ordinary religious requirements; Britannica describes it as a "sacred voluntary promise" of dedication to a special obligation. Vows appear in almost every tradition: private vows and religious profession in…

Format

• There is no published protocol for "vow therapy", and no source gives session counts for this work. The phases below are an organising sequence, drawing on IOCDF and CFI guidance where stated.
• Phase E. Consolidation. Goal: relapse prevention around new vow-making, high-holy-day annulment rituals, confession seasons and retreat periods. End when the client can keep, adapt or leave vows according to their tradition without OCD driving the process.

Questions to explore with your client

• What drew you to it, and what are you hoping it will change?
• Does it involve any substance, plant preparation, remedy or supplement? Has your doctor or prescriber been told, especially about any medication you take?
• Does it involve fasting, a special diet or 'detox'? Have you discussed this with your doctor?
• Is it a group, retreat or community? How do they respond if someone wants to leave or raises a concern?
• How do you and the practitioner understand what is happening, in spiritual or cultural terms? Is that a source of comfort, worry, or both?
• Who runs it, and what training or registration do they hold?
• What actually happens in a session or meeting, and how often?
• What does it cost, and is there pressure to commit to more?
• How do you feel afterwards, in the hours and days that follow?
• Does it fit with, or clash with, the work we do here?

What practitioners of it watch for

• the therapist's own views about vows (admiration, suspicion) shaping advice. Working: the client is clear about who to ask what.
• the therapist becoming a go-between; confidentiality slips in small communities. Working: the client experiences one coherent plan.
• disenfranchised grief (others treat leaving as betrayal); social isolation. Working: the client has support and a narrative of the ending they can live with.
• the therapist arguing doctrine against the group; retraumatisation; legal and reporting duties. Working: the client feels safe enough to consider their options.
• vows multiplying; vows with impossible conditions; shame about "bargaining" with God. Working: fewer new vows; vow-making returns to a considered, devotional act.

When to involve someone else

• New or worsening physical symptoms, or advice to stop or change prescribed medication: involve the client's doctor or prescriber.
• Signs of coercion, isolation from family and friends, escalating costs or secrecy: discuss openly and consider safeguarding.
• A crisis or thoughts of suicide: follow your crisis protocol. In the US, call or text 988; in the UK and Ireland, Samaritans on 116 123.

Drawn automatically from the guide's own sections. Stay curious: neither endorse nor dismiss what the client values, and check anything that matters against the full guide and its sources. Not medical advice.