Menarche rites and seclusion of girls at puberty

Domain XV · Nature, philosophy, social & rites of passage

What it is

This is not a psychotherapy. It covers two very different things that both occur around a girl's first menstruation. The first is the menarche rite: a public, often joyful ceremony by which a family and community mark a girl's change in status. In the Kinaaldá, the rite honours Changing Woman and…

Format

• There are no sources for session counts or durations for this work. The phases below follow the life of a rite, using van Gennep's separation, transition and reincorporation as Markstrom and Iborra apply them to the Kinaaldá. The therapeutic tasks in each phase are.
• Format: individual sessions, with a parent or caregiver session when the client is a minor (the CFI parent addendum supports this).

Questions to explore with your client

• What drew you to it, and what are you hoping it will change?
• Is there physical contact? Was it explained beforehand, and do you feel free to say no or stop at any point?
• Does it involve any substance, plant preparation, remedy or supplement? Has your doctor or prescriber been told, especially about any medication you take?
• Does it involve intense or unusual breathing? Have you been told about the medical conditions for which that is not advised?
• Does it involve fasting, a special diet or 'detox'? Have you discussed this with your doctor?
• Who runs it, and what training or registration do they hold?
• What actually happens in a session or meeting, and how often?
• What does it cost, and is there pressure to commit to more?
• How do you feel afterwards, in the hours and days that follow?
• Does it fit with, or clash with, the work we do here?

What practitioners of it watch for

• loyalty conflicts with family, and shame about speaking out. It is working if she can describe her experience without self-blame.
• idealising the missed rite or blaming a parent harshly. It is working when she can hold both what was lost and what is still possible.
• retaliation against the young person, and families moving her out of reach. It is working if she remains safe and stays connected to support.
• fascination or disapproval leaking into your questions. It is working if the family trusts you with what matters and you hold what is protected.
• missed school (a sign of either a medical problem or restriction; see 4.16), and shame. It is working if she can name what she needs and who to ask.

When to involve someone else

• New or worsening physical symptoms, or advice to stop or change prescribed medication: involve the client's doctor or prescriber.
• Signs of coercion, isolation from family and friends, escalating costs or secrecy: discuss openly and consider safeguarding.
• A crisis or thoughts of suicide: follow your crisis protocol. In the US, call or text 988; in the UK and Ireland, Samaritans on 116 123.

Drawn automatically from the guide's own sections. Stay curious: neither endorse nor dismiss what the client values, and check anything that matters against the full guide and its sources. Not medical advice.