Children's focusing

1. Introduction

Version followed: the Dutch "Children Focusing" approach of Marta Stapert (Stapert 1997 "Children Focusing" and "Focusing in school"; the Stapert / Walder-Binder / Y. Stapert trainer manual; structure of Stapert & Verliefde 2008, Focusing with Children), supplemented for therapy-room work by Bart Santen's (1988/1990/1999) and George Neagu's (1986) play-therapy adaptations, and by Teeuw & Veugelers (2023). The 2008 book itself is drawn on only for its table of contents [uncertain where it adds detail].

Children's focusing is not a separate, manualised therapy. It is an adaptation of Eugene Gendlin's Focusing for children and the adults around them (parents, teachers, child therapists), described by its authors as a basic attitude towards children as much as a set of exercises, and typically added to play therapy, art therapy, counselling or classroom routines rather than used alone [source: Stapert 1997 Children Focusing; Santen 1999; Stapert school reader 1997].

Core idea of change: the child already knows in the body how something feels and which direction is right; when an adult keeps empathic, non-directive company while the child turns attention inward to a bodily "felt sense", lets it take a form (colour, drawing, image, word, movement) and checks that form against the body, a bodily shift (relief, breath, softening) follows and carries the child's own next step forward. Clearing a space (putting troubles outside, often by drawing) creates an inner "free space" that by itself improves calm and concentration [source: Kinderen focussen 1997 foreword; Stapert 1997; trainer manual]. The adult cannot focus for the child; the adult's job is presence, reflection and protection of the child's pace and privacy [source: Stapert 1997 Children Focusing].

2. Framework

No fixed session count or phase protocol exists in the primary sources; the frameworks below are teaching and process sequences, used flexibly and repeated as needed [source: Stapert school reader 1997; Teeuw & Veugelers 2023].

Phase 0: adult preparation. The adult first learns Focusing for themselves (a basic course and ongoing personal practice) and reflects on their own expectations, moods, limits and triggers. Teachers are taught Focusing and Clearing a Space before running it with pupils [source: Stapert school reader 1997; trainer manual; McGuire 1986]. Move on when the adult can focus and listen reflectively from their own experience [synthesis].

Phase A: teaching sequence (Stapert, ages about 6–12, individual or class). Each step is practised and repeated until it is easy before moving on:

Sensory discovery of the body.
Bringing awareness inside (feet, seat, breath; greeting oneself).
Discovering a felt sense through imagined postures or objects.
Drawing the felt sense.
Felt sense of good experiences (drawn, to strengthen them).
Drawing problems (a heavy or itchy feeling about school, home, peers).
Full clearing a space: repeated checking, drawing each trouble, then drawing the emptier space; then resting in it. [source: Stapert school reader 1997; Stapert 1997 Children Focusing]. Format in class: about half an hour, desks apart, materials on every table, a signal on the board marking the special time, sharing by four or five children at the end [source: Stapert school reader 1997]. Teaching and guiding should be kept as separate moments, especially in therapy, because mixing them confuses children [source: Stapert 1997 Children Focusing].

Phase B: guiding a focusing process (individual). The trainer manual adapts Gendlin's steps: a short induction (attention inward) → felt sense (where and how in the body) → handle (word, image, sound, colour, movement, smell) → resonating (checking handle against body) → felt shift → receiving and ending without hurry [source: trainer manual]. Santen and Neagu use Gendlin's six steps (clearing a space, felt sense, handle, resonating, asking, receiving) in play form [source: Santen 1999; Neagu 1986]. Teeuw & Veugelers teach a four-phase frame: making space → inner contact (where it sits in the body, letting it take a form) → deepening contact (gentle questions about what it needs) → anchoring and finishing (what changed, how to take it along, sometimes photographing the artwork) [source: Teeuw & Veugelers 2023]. Criteria for moving on: the child has bodily contact with something (shown by words, gesture, a hand on the body, a fitting colour) before you seek a handle; the handle is confirmed as fitting before asking; a shift or the child's wish to stop leads to receiving and ending [source: trainer manual; Veugelers 2013; synthesis for the explicit criteria].

Session format in therapy. Brief focusing moments inside play or talk therapy, introduced especially when the child seems stuck (Santen's 6-year-old: 4 focusing sessions within 29 play-therapy sessions); a full process can take about 30 minutes (Veugelers' 13-year-old) [source: Santen 1999; Veugelers 2013]. Experienced practitioners let the process run without consciously following the steps [source: Teeuw & Veugelers 2023].

Age adaptation.

Babies: focusing happens through the parent, who speaks to the baby about its experiences (e.g. a hard birth) and holds a quiet, reflective focus [source: Stapert 1997; Santen 1999].
Ages 2–6: colour and movement rather than words; very short interventions; young children are natural focusers in the present, so explicit teaching is less needed and explicit instructions can disturb play; follow the play [source: Stapert 1997; trainer manual; Santen 1999].
Ages 6–12: full teaching steps; concrete wording for 6–7-year-olds; younger children need physical actions for clearing a space, imagination alone usually suffices only from about age 10 [source: Stapert school reader 1997; Santen 1999].
Adolescents: more anchors than adults (taped monologues, writing, imagery, quotations); guidance often better from someone outside the family; frame it as finding their own direction [source: Santen 1999; Stapert 1997].
Children with intellectual disability were included in classroom work with adapted instructions [source: Stapert school reader 1997].

3. Guiding principles

[source for this section unless marked: Stapert 1997 Children Focusing; trainer manual; Stapert & Verliefde 2008 table of contents (ch. 9 "The Focusing Attitude"); Teeuw & Veugelers 2023; Santen 1990/1999]

Be with the child, not for or against it. Accompany; never try to solve or focus on the child's behalf.
The child leads. Follow the child's pace, choices and play; offer, never push into heavy material.
Attend to how more than what. Content questions rarely move the process; track the bodily process and its quality.
Focusing attitude: friendliness, trust, appropriate distance, minimal talk, privacy, honouring "no", acceptance, stillness, presence (the book's chapter list). Practically: say less, wait longer, keep it private, accept whatever comes.
Listening in three directions (Walder-Binder). Listen to your own felt sense, to the child, and to how the child is listening to itself; your own felt sense informs a working hypothesis.
Tentative mirroring. Reflect words, actions, body, feelings and symbols as an offer the child can correct; explicitly invite "no".
Separate the child from the feeling. Use "something in you" phrasing so a strong feeling is held at a manageable distance [source: Teeuw & Veugelers 2023; Veugelers 2013].
Open, unfinished, neutral language. Avoid "but", "perhaps", "try" and "you can do it"; do not console or pity. Practically: short open invitations, no cheerleading.
Voluntary and confidential. Participation is by choice; drawings and inner content stay private unless the child agrees; a picture may be folded away [source: Stapert school reader 1997].
Eyes open is fine; no beauty required. Never insist on closed eyes; no eraser; do not praise every drawing (praise implies drawings should be pretty) [source: Stapert school reader 1997].
Feelings always acknowledged, behaviour may be limited. Limits given with acknowledgement of the feeling help the child find control.
Go slowly; expect no quick results. Santen warns that going too fast drives people back into their protective strategies [source: Santen 1990].
Respect protections. Walls, hiding, showing off and the inner critic are treated as meaningful protection: acknowledge them, do not tear them down [source: Santen 1990; trainer manual].
Relationship before technique. Clay, games and pictures serve contact with the felt sense and must not dominate; the result should feel good to the child [source: Neagu 1986].
Focusing is not only for problems. Practise with good feelings too, to strengthen them [source: McGuire 1986; Stapert school reader 1997].
Watch yourself. Notice your own tension, irritation or fear of losing control, especially with disruptive children; the child is always watching and modelling.
Repair openly. If an intervention doesn't fit, say sorry and take it back; parents too should apologise when they err [source: trainer manual, citing Jaison].
Success from the inside. After praise or success, ask how it feels inside; separate behaviour from the child's worth [source: Stapert 1997].
Responsibility stays with the child. Don't rescue with solutions; resistance and blockage are meaningful and can be reflected in the here and now [source: Teeuw & Veugelers 2023].
Not therapy in school. In class it supplements teaching and is not therapy; serious problems are escalated [source: Stapert school reader 1997].

4. Intervention inventory

All example language is illustrative unless quoted with a source. Groups: A. introducing and teaching; B. clearing a space; C. guiding the felt-sense process; D. symbolising media and play; E. trauma, parts and distance (Santen); F. group, peer and parent work.

A1. Explaining focusing to a child

Purpose: give a simple, non-pressuring frame before any exercise; use at the first focusing moment.
Steps: (1) Say adults do this too (Santen presents it as something he sometimes does himself). (2) Offer an image of feelings being stored in the body and wanting to be listened to; Stapert uses a "bucket" metaphor in which difficult feelings collect and can be listened to and released. (3) Say what the child controls: they choose, may keep eyes open, may say no, may stop. (4) Keep it short and move straight into a first experience. [source: Stapert 1997; Santen 1999]
Example language (illustrative): "Sometimes I listen inside to how something feels in my body. You can try that too if you want. You decide, and you can stop any time."
Watch for: the child feeling turned into a "student" (Stapert reports children objecting to this) → shorten, drop the teaching frame, follow play.

A2. Sensory discovery of the body (teaching step 1)

Purpose: make bodily sensation noticeable and interesting before turning to feelings; first lessons, restless groups.
Steps: run brief physical contrasts: stamping, lifting and dropping shoulders, clenching then releasing fists or teeth, noticing breath, imagining biting a lemon and noticing the mouth. Ask what each feels like. Repeat across sessions until children readily report sensations. [source: Stapert 1997; Stapert school reader 1997]
Example language (illustrative): "Squeeze your fists tight… and let go. What do your hands feel like now?"
Watch for: working when children spontaneously describe sensations (warm, tingly, heavy).

A3. Bringing awareness inside / short induction (teaching step 2)

Purpose: settle and turn attention inward; opening of every focusing moment.
Steps: (1) Feet on the floor, body against the chair, a few breaths, eyes open or closed by choice. (2) Optional image of going down inside, Stapert's inner "elevator". (3) Invite the child to greet itself kindly; Stapert's wording is "Hello, dear child" [source: Stapert 1997; Stapert school reader 1997]. With adolescents a body scan (toe, legs, abdomen, chest) plus breathing works (McGuire, grade 6) [source: McGuire 1986]. Keep it much shorter than an adult induction [source: trainer manual].
Example language (illustrative): "Feel your feet on the floor… notice your breathing… and say a friendly hello to yourself inside."
Watch for: giggling or self-consciousness in groups (normal early on); never insist on closed eyes.

A4. Discovering a felt sense through imagery (teaching step 3)

Purpose: let the child experience a whole bodily "sense of something" in a safe, neutral way.
Steps: invite an imagined posture or object and ask what it feels like in the body: standing like a tree, being a giant, thinking of a beloved pet; McGuire asked pupils to picture their own bed. Ask where in the body and how it feels; wait. [source: Stapert 1997; McGuire 1986]
Example language (illustrative): "Stand like a big strong tree… Where do you notice the tree-feeling in you? What's it like?"
Watch for: the answer coming from the body (pointing, slowing down) rather than from thinking.

A5. Felt sense of good experiences / positive focusing (teaching step 5)

Purpose: show that focusing is not only for problems; strengthen resources; build safety before working with troubles.
Steps: (1) Recall something pleasant (a birthday, a friend, favourite music; for grade 6, something loved but not a person or pet). (2) Notice where it is felt. (3) Find a word, image or colour; draw it. (4) Let the feeling spread through the body. Young children: hug a favourite stuffed animal and let the loving feeling move through the body, then sit quietly about two minutes. [source: Stapert school reader 1997; McGuire 1986]
Example language (illustrative): "Hold your bear and feel the cosy feeling… where is it? Let it get a little bigger."
Watch for: words like warm, flowing; also use it to return to at the end of difficult work (McGuire returned Grade 1 to the loving feeling after the worry step).

A6. Drawing the felt sense (teaching step 4) and drawing problems (step 6)

Purpose: give the felt sense an outer form so it can be seen, held and checked; core symbolising tool from about age 2.
Steps: (1) After contact with a felt sense, ask inside which colours and which hand movements fit. (2) Draw without aiming for a nice picture; no eraser; crayons or watercolour (more expressive). (3) Wait, check the body again, draw again as new material comes. (4) Notice any bodily change; rest in it. For problems: invite a heavy or itchy feeling about school, home or peers and draw that. Afterwards ask what the child wants to say about the drawing rather than what it shows (the latter drew technical descriptions). [source: Stapert 1997; Stapert school reader 1997]
Example language: "Take your time to draw it." and "Does it somehow feel different now?" [quoted, source: Stapert 1997]
Watch for: hands moving freely and colour choices made by checking inside; a looser body or a sigh after drawing.

A7. Colour-and-movement entry

Purpose: an alternative way in when a child reports nothing in the body or has few words; standard route for 2–6-year-olds.
Steps: (1) Acknowledge that nothing is there yet, without pushing. (2) Sit together a moment. (3) Suggest that feelings can have colours or movements and invite the child to check. (4) Invite the colour to express itself on paper, letting the hands choose. (5) Then ask where it is in the body. [source: Veugelers 2013; Stapert 1997 (a toddler drawing sorrow in dark blue stripes)]
Example language: "Maybe this Red wants to express itself on a piece of paper." [quoted, source: Veugelers 2013]
Watch for: the child adding colours, describing movement (Veugelers' client: up and down like a boomerang) and placing a hand on the body.

A8. Role-play training for adults

Purpose: help parents and teachers practise the focusing attitude before using it with children.
Steps: adults role-play a child and parent in a tense everyday scene (a rushed morning, bedtime), first in their habitual way, then with reflective, focusing-style responses; debrief what each felt inside. [source: Stapert 1997]
Watch for: adults noticing their directive habits and fear of losing control.

B1. Clearing a space, individual (drawing / wrapping / placing)

Purpose: create inner space and calm by setting troubles outside oneself without entering them; at the start of a process, when a child is flooded with many worries, before tests or concentration tasks.
Steps: (1) Attend to the middle of the body and check whether the child can feel fine. (2) When something gets in the way, do not work on it: draw it, or wrap it, name it and put it somewhere safe outside (on paper, on the floor, in a box). (3) Acknowledge its weight; ask what else is there; repeat until each concern has a place. (4) Check for a background feeling. (5) Positive experiences can also be placed outside. (6) Draw or sense the emptier space and rest in it. (7) Then, if continuing, ask which one is heaviest or touches most and work with that. [source: trainer manual; Santen 1990; Stapert school reader 1997]
Example language (illustrative): "Let's check: how is it inside right now?… Is something in the way of feeling OK? Let's give that one its own place out here."
Watch for: the body feeling less tight after each placement (McGuire's pupils reported feeling lighter, freer). If a trouble comes straight back, see 5.

B2. Concrete clearing for young children

Purpose: make clearing physical where imagination alone is not enough (roughly under 10).
Steps (choose one): ask whether the bad feeling will hide in a teddy bear; empty pockets of the troubles; write or draw each trouble on a note and lay it on the floor where it feels right; draw oneself surrounded by cloud shapes, one per happening; for Grade 1, put a worry in one's "secret hiding place". Then check how the body feels. [source: Santen 1999; Santen 1990; McGuire 1986]
Example language: "Can you see if it will hide in the teddy bear?" [quoted, source: Santen 1999]
Watch for: young children choose soft, loving places (an apron pocket, grandmother's house, a blanket); older ones choose containment (a freezer, under a mattress, sent away on a plane) [source: McGuire 1986]. Accept whatever place the child chooses.

B3. Clearing a space in the classroom

Purpose: whole-class concentration and calm; teach a self-help skill.
Steps: (1) Teacher has learned focusing and clearing first. (2) Prepare the room (B-section format in 2: desks apart, paper and crayons, board signal, quiet corner, optional soft cloths or small balls for restless children). (3) Settle (breathing, body awareness). (4) Greet oneself inside; ask how one is and what is in the way of feeling all right. (5) Each child draws each trouble, or imagines placing it in a place outside; check the body after each, four or five rounds. (6) Draw or sense the emptier space. (7) Optionally a positive-feeling round. (8) Sharing: four or five children, others later; then ask whether anyone urgently needs to speak. [source: Stapert school reader 1997; McGuire 1986]
Example language (illustrative): "Is there something about school, home or friends that feels heavy right now? Draw it, any colours, it doesn't need to be pretty."
Watch for: children who "feel nothing" (common in about half of McGuire's grade 6) → let them draw freely; disruption → see 5. Smaller half-groups felt safer to older pupils [source: McGuire 1986].

B4. Complaint Department (Neagu)

Purpose: playful clearing a space for about 7–8-year-olds in play therapy.
Steps: (1) Set up a game: the therapist runs the "Complaint Department". (2) The child lists everything that bothers or angers him; the therapist writes them down or tape-records them. (3) Play the list back. (4) The child picks the one that bothers most, or sizes each complaint with clay balls or paper circles beside it. (5) Optional: move the balls or circles as far away as possible, treating distance literally. The child may end the game any time. [source: Neagu 1986; Santen 1999 for use with older children]
Example language (illustrative): "Welcome to the Complaint Department! What's bugging you today? I'll write every single one down."
Watch for: game energy replacing contact with the felt sense; keep the tools secondary.

C1. Locating the felt sense ("where do you feel that?")

Purpose: move from story or emotion to a bodily sense of the whole issue; the shortest and most-used intervention.
Steps: (1) Let the child finish the story first. (2) Reflect briefly. (3) Ask where in the body it is felt, then how it feels there. (4) Wait silently. [source: Stapert 1997; trainer manual]
Example language: "Where do you feel that?" [quoted, source: Stapert 1997]; "can you find that bad feeling inside you?" [quoted, source: Santen 1999]
Watch for: pointing, a hand on chest or tummy, slowing down; if nothing comes, use A7, do not insist (Veugelers judged his own invitation too early).

C2. Finding a handle and resonating (incl. "tasting words" and the focusing check)

Purpose: find a symbol that fits the felt sense exactly and confirm the fit in the body.
Steps: (1) Invite a word, image, colour, sound, movement or smell to come from the feeling. (2) Ask the child to check it against the body; Santen has the child say the word aloud to "taste" it; Neagu has the child silently repeat it (e.g. "a lot of wavy"). (3) If it doesn't fit, adjust the picture or word and check again. [source: trainer manual; Santen 1999; Neagu 1986; Teeuw & Veugelers 2023]
Example language (illustrative): "Say 'wobbly' inside and see if your tummy says yes, that's it… or if another word fits better."
Watch for: a small sign of recognition (nod, breath, "yes!"); a correcting "no, more like…" is also progress.

C3. Asking: process questions

Purpose: invite the felt sense to open further once it has a handle.
Steps: choose one open question, ask it gently towards the felt sense, wait for a bodily answer. Question types in the trainer manual (drawing on Ann Weiser Cornell): general (what is it about this that is so…?), core (what is the crux of it?), felt-shift (what does it need? how would it feel if it were all solved?), time (does it know this from earlier?). Neagu: ask what makes it feel that way and listen "as if he were putting his ear to the ground" [quoted, source: Neagu 1986]. Avoid content-detective questions. [source: trainer manual; Neagu 1986; Veugelers 2013]
Example language (illustrative): "Ask the red feeling what it needs… and just wait to see what comes."
Watch for: answers that surprise the child, a change in the image, a breath. Time questions are for older children and adults [synthesis].

C4. Receiving, anchoring and ending

Purpose: protect and keep what has shifted; close without hurry.
Steps: (1) Acknowledge what is new. (2) Ask whether the part needs anything more and how it would be to stop now. (3) Return attention to the original concern and ask how it feels now. (4) Anchor: the child may keep the drawing, a hand on the place, a photo of the artwork, or a taped sound to carry. (5) Say goodbye to the felt sense; promise to come back if needed. Avoid acting on, judging or rushing past the shift. [source: trainer manual; Veugelers 2013; Teeuw & Veugelers 2023; Santen 1990]
Example language (illustrative): "Something feels different now. Can you stay with that a little… Is it OK to stop here for today?"
Watch for: relaxed face, smile, firmer stance; Veugelers' client left with a hand still on his chest.

C5. Mirroring / reflective listening

Purpose: the main vehicle of the relationship; helps the child feel heard and stay in contact with its experience; use throughout.
Steps: reflect tentatively what the child says, does, shows in the body, feels or symbolises; reflect positive moments too; summarise the whole process near the end (need, colours, movement, location). Invite correction. Repeat a child's sentences slowly so they can connect with the feeling place. Name what is happening between you. Younger children need more frequent mirroring. [source: trainer manual; Santen 1999; Veugelers 2013; Teeuw & Veugelers 2023]
Example language: "Your legs really want to move today, don't they" [quoted, source: Teeuw & Veugelers 2023]; "Does this fit for you?" [quoted, source: Stapert 1997]
Watch for: the child correcting you or going further = working.

C6. "Something in you" language

Purpose: separate the child from an overwhelming feeling so it can be met from a little distance.
Steps: rephrase a total statement ("I'm so angry") as a part ("something in you…"); offer it tentatively. [source: Stapert 1997; Teeuw & Veugelers 2023; Veugelers 2013]
Example language: "There is something in you, that really needs support" [quoted, source: Veugelers 2013]
Watch for: a calmer, curious tone in the child; reduced flooding.

D1. Painting variations: "the heart of it", enlarging, painting into the black

Purpose: deepen contact with a felt image once one has been painted.
Steps: (1) The child paints the bodily felt image. (2) Invite painting the heart or core of it on a new sheet, or an enlarged detail, or painting into a dark area to see what is there. (3) Check in the body after each. Keep the series as a record of the process. Finger-painting helps a child who retreats into her head. [source: Santen 1999; Santen 1990]
Example language (illustrative): "If you painted just the middle of this one, the most important bit, what would it look like?"
Watch for: the image changing or softening between sheets.

D2. Body outline and creative materials

Purpose: let a child show where and how something sits in the body without words; useful for silent or withdrawn adolescents.
Steps: (1) Provide a body outline and materials (post-its, coloured pens, clay, cork, skewers, paper, glue, balloons). (2) Let the child choose what to work on; ask permission before approaching a painful memory. (3) The child places or builds the felt sense on the outline. (4) Mirror the image (Veugelers' therapist reflected a cork as stuck and closed). (5) Let the child use the materials to find his own solutions; an unfinished piece can wait for next session. [source: Teeuw & Veugelers 2023; trainer manual]
Example language (illustrative): "Where on this body does it live? You can use anything here to show it."
Watch for: the child's hands working purposefully; nonverbal shifts.

D3. Clay, sand, play and story: following the metaphor

Purpose: with younger children, let the focusing process happen inside play rather than through instructions.
Steps: (1) Equip the playroom (world materials, dolls, animals, role-play items, blocks, sand and water trays, a quiet corner; materials in drawers so the child isn't overwhelmed). (2) Follow the child's play metaphor; reflect its felt quality rather than interpreting. (3) Only occasionally invite a bodily check ("how does that feel inside?"); explicit instructions often disrupt young children's play. [source: trainer manual; Santen 1999]
Example language (illustrative): "That monster is getting very big… and the little car is hiding."
Watch for: play developing and changing; repetitive stuck play → see E3.

D4. Recording, singing and taping

Purpose: give the child a way to externalise, distance and revisit material between sessions; from about 10.
Steps: tape a child's monologue or story and listen to it together the next session without commenting on content (Santen's 12-year-old wrote and taped a devil-and-angel story series); or let the child sing a feeling-sound onto tape, keep it in a pocket during the week and paint it next session. [source: Santen 1990; Santen 1999]
Watch for: growing separation between the child and the forces described.
Example language (illustrative): "Shall we record it so we can listen together next time?"

E1. Distance that fits / imaginary distance and safe base

Purpose: for traumatised or overwhelmed children whose feelings intrude and feel unowned: a "me" can separate from several "its", restoring boundaries.
Steps: (1) Put the feeling, a drawn object or written note at a distance where it feels right (paper on the floor; moving chairs apart; a drawn stone at a comfortable distance). (2) Ask whether the child can feel fine with it there. (3) Use an imagined wall or bench as a base camp to step back to when it gets too much. (4) Work from that distance; contact without drowning. [source: Santen 1990; Santen 1999]
Example language (illustrative): "Put the stone where it feels right… Can you feel OK with it over there?"
Watch for: softening of the image; the child moving it closer by choice. A child whose world feels unsafe needs a safe inner place first [source: Santen 1999].

E2. Inner critic: acknowledge and set aside

Purpose: free a smothered inner voice when a harsh self-judging voice dominates.
Steps: (1) Do not side with or fight the critic. (2) Acknowledge it has good reasons (protection). (3) Ask it to step aside for a while to give the smothered voice some air. (4) Optionally write each critic statement on separate paper and shelve it. (5) See what fear, anger or hurt emerges; meet it kindly. [source: Santen 1990; Santen 1999]
Example language: "Can you try being very nice and friendly to it?" [quoted, source: Santen 1999]
Watch for: the critic's grip loosening; underlying feeling surfacing.

E3. Three-chair dialogue for conflicting parts

Purpose: stage an inner conflict (e.g. a "good" and a "bad" self) so it can be seen and integrated; adolescents.
Steps: three chairs: one for each part, one for an observing self. The young person sits in each and speaks or senses from it; the observing chair checks how it feels inside. Santen's 14-year-old's two parts over time "melted into one" [source: Santen 1990].
Example language (illustrative): "Sit in this chair as the observer… what do you notice when you look at those two?"
Watch for: softening of polarisation. Exact procedure is thinly described [uncertain].

E4. Reading and underlining as an anchor

Purpose: give a withdrawn or dissociative adolescent an indirect handle on inner experience.
Steps: offer selected texts (Santen used Kafka quotations); the young person underlines what resonates; use those lines as handles to sense into and paint. [source: Santen 1999]
Watch for: gradual emergence of fragments that can be acknowledged. [uncertain: one case only]

F1. Sharing round and mirroring between children

Purpose: build empathic listening in a class; let children be heard.
Steps: after drawing, four or five volunteers share; classmates listen without comment; a child may pass; ask if anyone urgently needs to speak. If a child cries, a willing classmate can be asked simply to listen in a friendly way. The book has a section on mirroring between children (ch. 5) [source: Stapert school reader 1997; Stapert & Verliefde 2008 TOC; detailed procedure in the book not seen, uncertain].
Example language: "What do you want to say about what you have drawn?" [quoted, source: Stapert school reader 1997]
Watch for: children spontaneously advising each other to draw their troubles.

F2. Parents' focusing attitude and reflective talk

Purpose: bring the attitude home; from infancy.
Steps: parents speak reflectively to babies about their experiences; with older children, use the focusing attitude as an umbrella, attend to context more than content, create a safe space by not promising to suppress feelings, apologise when wrong, invite the child to reflect back what the parent said (Jaison, cited in the trainer manual); after praise, ask how it feels inside. Parents may guide adolescents less; outside guides are often better [source: trainer manual; Stapert 1997].
Example language (illustrative): "You had a really hard day today. Something in you is still sad about it."
Watch for: fewer escalations; the child naming feelings spontaneously.

F3. Inner-child work for the adult companion

Purpose: in the trainer manual, for adults (parents, teachers, therapists) whose own childhood material is triggered; not used with children.
Steps: the adult senses an inner child, notices its age, place and surroundings in the present tense, and offers it supportive company as the present-day adult (e.g. saying they find what happened terrible and are there with it). It is explicitly not regression because the adult stays present. [source: trainer manual, citing Weinberger]
Watch for: the adult guide may help briefly, then step back once the focuser can manage.

F4. Named applications in the 2008 book (not drawn on)

The book lists micro-processes, affirming boundaries, aggression and bullying, a social-skills workshop, test preparation, hospital visits, dreams and nightmares, crafts for a safe space, inner stories, writing, movement and sound, and a protocols appendix [source: Stapert & Verliefde 2008 TOC]. Their step-by-step content was not seen [uncertain]. Default: apply the clearing (B1) → felt sense (C1) → handle (C2) → receiving (C4) sequence to the situation [synthesis].

5. Handling problems

The child feels nothing inside. Acknowledge it plainly, sit together without pushing, consider that you invited it too early, then offer colours or movements and drawing (A7) [source: Veugelers 2013]. In a class, children who sense nothing simply draw freely; a sizeable share of older pupils may not sense anything at first [source: McGuire 1986; Stapert school reader 1997]. Return to body-discovery games (A2) in later sessions [synthesis].

A placed worry comes straight back. Ask what the worry needs in order to stay put; McGuire's pupil found it needed a promise that he would come back to it after school, and the feeling eased once he promised [source: McGuire 1986]. Keep such promises in the next session [synthesis].

Everything comes out at once. Give each trouble its own separate container, then put the biggest one somewhere further away (McGuire's pupil used separate books and a root cellar) [source: McGuire 1986].

Overwhelm, flooding, intense crying. Do not console, minimise or hurry; hold the process and wait for the feeling to soften; work with the felt sense of the feeling rather than the raw feeling [source: trainer manual]. Create distance: "something in you" phrasing (C6), place the feeling at a distance that fits, step back to a base camp (E1), keep sensing "just loud enough" [source: Santen 1990/1999; Neagu 1986; Teeuw & Veugelers 2023]. Return to a positive felt sense or the safe place before ending [source: McGuire 1986; synthesis]. Stay until relief comes when feelings such as nightmares or loneliness surface [source: Stapert 1997].

Hiding, withdrawal, refusal to talk. Respect it as protection; the child comes out when ready; offer non-verbal routes (drawing, body outline, objects) and permission-seeking before painful material [source: trainer manual; Stapert 1997; Teeuw & Veugelers 2023].

Subtle "no" (topic change, fidgeting, going vague). Treat it as a no; reflect it, invite an explicit "no", and say sorry and withdraw an intervention that didn't fit [source: trainer manual].

Resistance to "focusing stuff" / not wanting to be a student. Drop the teaching frame; use the attitude and very short interventions inside ordinary conversation or play; let the child ask for more [source: Stapert 1997]. Adolescents who find it childish: present it as a way to find their own direction, use writing, music or taping, and consider whether someone outside the family should guide [source: Stapert 1997; Santen 1999; synthesis for the framing].

Defences: showing off, cheerfulness, walls, the inner critic. Do not confront or interpret early; acknowledge the protection and its good reasons; work on inner walls first, outer walls tend to soften afterwards; ask the critic to step aside (E2) [source: Santen 1990]. Honour old survival decisions and let new understanding come from a felt shift [source: trainer manual].

Stuck or repetitive play. Don't speed up (Santen: going too fast drives people back into their strategies). Switch medium (teddy bear → drawing; play → taped story series), write distracting thoughts down and shelve them, or stay longer with the handle and allow time [source: Santen 1990/1999; Neagu 1986].

Disruption in class. Prepare disruptive children beforehand; let them choose a special place or give them an independent drawing task; keep normal school rules; notice your own irritation [source: Stapert school reader 1997]. Several children crying: pair each with a willing classmate who just listens in a friendly way [source: Stapert school reader 1997].

Non-adherence / practice fades. McGuire found teachers practised only occasionally after eight months; build teacher practice groups, peer pairs among pupils, consultation for teachers and parents, and parent training [source: McGuire 1986]. In therapy, give a concrete carry-home anchor (drawing, taped sound, a hand-on-chest reminder) rather than homework assignments [source: Santen 1990; Veugelers 2013; synthesis].

Teacher or colleague concerns (time, discipline, becoming a therapist). Brief interventions and the attitude need no extra time; focusing adds to existing methods; it is not therapy [source: Stapert school reader 1997].

Mixing teaching and guiding. Keep them in separate moments; if a child is mid-process, stop teaching and simply accompany [source: Stapert 1997].

Ruptures (the adult misattuned, was directive, or praised/pitied). Say sorry, take the intervention back, check what fits now; parents too should apologise when they err [source: trainer manual]. After a rupture, mirror what is happening between you in the here and now [source: Teeuw & Veugelers 2023].

The adult is overwhelmed or triggered. Use your own focusing (listening in three directions), notice your fear of losing control, seek supervision; in adult training, the guide may briefly help an overwhelmed focuser and then step back [source: trainer manual; Stapert 1997].

Confidentiality versus safeguarding. In school, serious problems first get private time with the child; then consult the head, tell the child that parents will be informed, and refer onwards [source: Stapert school reader 1997]. In therapy, explain the limits of privacy at the start and follow local child-protection law and reporting duties whenever abuse or risk is disclosed in a drawing or story [synthesis].

Suicidal ideas, self-harm, psychosis, medical risk. Santen's cases included suicidal fantasies, psychotic moments, a rage episode and sabotage of diabetes treatment, but the sources do not describe how risk was managed [source: Santen 1990]. Do a standard child risk assessment, involve parents and the medical team, agree a safety plan (including lethal-means counselling with carers about safe storage), and use focusing only as an adjunct inside that plan [synthesis].

Trauma and dissociation. Establish a safe inner place and distance first (E1), keep processes short, pace by the child's readiness, use concrete anchors (painting, reading, objects), and accept fragmentary progress [source: Santen 1990/1999]. Watch for spacing out, freezing or numbness and bring attention back to the feet, seat and room before continuing [synthesis]. Children's focusing is not a trauma-processing protocol; combine with trauma-focused treatment where indicated [synthesis].

Aggression in session. Acknowledge the feeling and set a clear limit on the behaviour [source: trainer manual]; agree in advance how a staff member keeps the child and others safe if rage escalates (Santen's case needed a companion and separation, planning not described) [source: Santen 1990; synthesis for planning].

Very young, non-verbal or intellectually disabled children. Use colour, movement, objects and play; shortest possible questions; adapt language [source: Stapert 1997; Stapert school reader 1997]. Children with attention difficulties: quiet corner, something soft to hold, movement-based body discovery (beware requests multiplying) [source: Stapert school reader 1997].

Parent pressure to know what happened in session. Tell parents at the outset that the work is private and the child may share but need not; agree what will be fed back in general terms [source: Stapert school reader 1997; synthesis for therapy settings].

Sources

Sources:

Books cited (not drawn on beyond publisher contents):

Verliefde, E. & Stapert, M. (2008). Focusing with Children: The Art of Communicating with Children at School and at Home. PCCS Books. (Spanish: Focusing con niños, Desclée De Brouwer.)
Gendlin, E. T. (1981). Focusing. Bantam (source of the six adult steps adapted above).

Training today: the International Focusing Institute lists a Children Focusing Academy event and Teeuw & Veugelers point to childrenfocusing.org for international and Dutch courses (pages not drawn on) [uncertain].

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