Encounter-centred couples therapy

1. Introduction

Version followed: Hedy (and Yumi) Schleifer's Encounter-centered Couples Therapy (EcCT), now renamed Encounter-centered Transformation / Couples Transformation (EcT), as Hedy Schleifer describes it in her own CE webinars and recorded interviews (2010–2023). Where the older format (two- to three-day intensive, about 12 hours) and the current one (ten two-hour sessions, often on Zoom) differ, both are given. No treatment manual is published; everything below rests on Hedy Schleifer's spoken descriptions and webinar abstracts [uncertain].

EcCT is a couples approach developed by Hedy Schleifer, an Israeli-licensed clinical psychologist and former Imago clinical instructor, with her husband Yumi; she founded the Tikkun Learning Center in 2010 to train therapists in it [source: GoodTherapy, Miracle of Connection webinar bio]. She names four pillars: Martin Buber's philosophy of the encounter, Imago theory and practice, Appreciative Inquiry, and relational neurobiology with memory reconsolidation [source: GoodTherapy webinar bio]. In interviews she adds re-evaluation co-counselling, est/Landmark and Otto Scharmer's Theory U as influences [source: Couples Therapist Couch ep. 250].

Core idea of change: the relationship lives in the space between the partners. Partners change when they repeatedly reach a real meeting (the Encounter), essence to essence, rather than when they learn better communication skills. She frames the aim as "communion" rather than communication [source: GoodTherapy EcCT overview]. Three "invisible connectors" make the meeting possible: the Space (the atmosphere between the partners), the Bridge (each partner crossing into the other's world) and the Encounter (the moment of meeting) [source: GoodTherapy webinar; Neil Sattin ep. 69; TEDx summary, LunaHolistic]. Each person has an intact essence underneath a survival pattern built from earlier injury. Each couple's survival patterns lock together into a "survival dance" or "survival knot". Repeated encounters, together with revisiting old memories, are meant to rewire the couple's threat responses and free "new creative energy" [source: CTC ep. 250; GoodTherapy Survival Knot webinar].

2. Framework

EcCT is a structured sequence of guided experiences. It is not a weekly open-ended therapy.

Formats [source: GoodTherapy overview; CTC ep. 251]

• Original: a private couples intensive over two (sometimes three) days, about 12 hours in total. The intensive was later marketed as "Connection Quest" [source: Neil Sattin ep. 69 links].
• Current (Hedy Schleifer, c. 2020 onward): ten two-hour sessions, often on Zoom. Each session has its own purpose, and couples commit to all ten up front.
• Intake: a free one-hour consultation before enrolment, where the couple asks questions and decides whether to commit. Some couples decline at this point [source: CTC ep. 251].
• Between sessions: a home "sanctuary" with two facing chairs and a scheduled weekly visit [source: CTC ep. 251].
• Note: one practice blog gives "12–20 weekly sessions in three stages". It cites a book that could not be verified, so it was not followed [uncertain].

Sequence of sessions (current format). Hedy Schleifer describes this order loosely, so the session numbers are approximate [source: CTC ep. 250; GoodTherapy overview] [uncertain on exact mapping]:

Moving between stages. No formal criteria were found [uncertain]. What the sources imply [synthesis]:

• Start with dreams and precious neighbourhoods first, so the couple builds resources before visiting difficult ones [source: CTC ep. 250].
• Move to challenge neighbourhoods once the couple can enter a regulated nonverbal bridge and hold host and visitor roles without the survival dance taking over.
• The very toughest neighbourhoods, such as abandonment or distrust, need professional support rather than home practice [source: Neil Sattin ep. 69].

Training and certification. Training ran through the Tikkun Learning Center and an EcCT training site. Formats are live seminars, video series and intensives that combine lecture, demonstration and practice [source: GoodTherapy overview; GoodTherapy webinar bio]. No published certification standard, fidelity measure or required hours are known [uncertain]. Describe your work as "informed by" EcCT unless you have trained with the Schleifers.

3. Guiding principles

[source: CTC eps. 250–251; Neil Sattin ep. 69; GoodTherapy overview and webinars; TEDx summary]

• The relationship lives in the space between. Assess and tend the atmosphere between the partners, not just each individual. Ask what the space feels like right now.
• Each partner is fully responsible for the space. Hedy Schleifer describes each partner as 100% responsible for its quality. Each partner keeps their own half free of criticism, judgement and detachment, and no partner waits for the other to start.
• Interdependence, not dependence. Coach each partner to bring a regulated self rather than demanding the other fix them.
• Energy follows attention. Begin from dreams and strengths, not the presenting complaint. Problems are reframed as what the person is "dreaming of".
• Otherness is honoured: become bilingual. Each partner learns the other's language, rhythm and culture. The goal is understanding the other's world, not agreeing about it.
• Visitor's beginner's mind. A visitor enters only when ready to set aside assumptions and the past. Postponing a visit is better than visiting unready.
• Transparent hosting. The host invites the partner into their world and decides how transparent to be.
• Essence vs. survival pattern. Behind every reactive move is an intact essence. Speak to and about the essence; name the survival pattern as a pattern, not as who the person is.
• Regulate before talking (the nonverbal comes first). Every visit begins with eye contact, breathing and proximity. Words come only after limbic resonance is established.
• Presence over technique. The therapist mainly holds the process and models engaged presence. Hedy Schleifer says she now sees herself as a "guide and teacher of a way of life" rather than a therapist [source: CTC ep. 251].
• Transformation over healing. Look for the hero's story and resilience in the past, not only the wound. Aim for learning with a clear before and after (her "Level 3" learning).
• 100% engagement, here and now. Work in the present and ask for full participation; half-commitment stalls the process.
• "I don't know" is a corridor. Treat not knowing as an opening to deeper truth, not a failure.
• Conflict as opportunity. The survival knot holds creative energy; unravelling it frees that energy [source: GoodTherapy Survival Knot webinar].
• Sanctify the space. Treat the session and the chairs with honour; Hedy Schleifer blesses the chairs before sessions. Practical meaning: open each session with a deliberate, respectful setting of the space [source: CTC ep. 251].

4. Intervention inventory

The interventions come from Hedy Schleifer's spoken descriptions, so the step-by-step detail below is largely reconstructed. Where a step is not in a source it is tagged [synthesis]. All example language is illustrative unless quoted.

4.1 Pre-enrolment consultation and commitment

• Purpose: check fit, explain the process, and secure a commitment to the whole sequence [source: CTC ep. 251].
• Steps:
  1. Offer a free one-hour conversation.
  2. Describe the format (ten two-hour sessions, or the intensive), the order (dreams before problems), and home practice.
  3. Invite questions.
  4. Ask both partners to commit to all sessions.
  5. [synthesis] Screen for intimate partner violence, active affair, acute suicidality, untreated substance misuse or psychosis. Do this separately with each partner, because these are reasons to defer or adapt the work.
• Example language (illustrative): "We don't start with what's wrong. We start with what you're dreaming of. Then we'll learn three ways of connecting before we go anywhere difficult. It works best if you both commit to the whole journey."
• Watch for: one partner "brought along". Hedy Schleifer notes that clear upfront explanation prevents mismatched expectations [source: CTC ep. 251].

4.2 Setting and sanctifying the space

• Purpose: mark the session as a protected space of honour, respect and admiration [source: CTC ep. 251].
• Steps:
  1. Set up two chairs facing each other about 18 inches apart [source: CTC ep. 251].
  2. Prepare the room deliberately. Hedy Schleifer blesses the chairs before the couple arrives [source: CTC ep. 251]. [synthesis] Any brief, private intention-setting fits your own tradition.
  3. Remind the couple that each is fully responsible for the quality of the space.
• Example language (illustrative): "This space between your chairs is where your relationship lives. For the next two hours, let's keep it clear of criticism and judgement."
• Watch for: the couple settling, slowing down and softening their voices.

4.3 Assessing the quality of the space

• Purpose: make the invisible atmosphere between them something they notice and own [source: Neil Sattin ep. 69; GoodTherapy overview].
• Steps:
  1. Ask each partner to describe the space between them now: joyful, tense, heavy, playful.
  2. Ask how children or pets react to it, as a real-life indicator.
  3. Ask what each puts into the space, such as criticism, judgement or detachment, and what each could put in instead, such as acceptance, good faith or forgiveness.
  4. Ask each for one way they will tend it this week.
• Example language (illustrative): "If your kids walked in right now, what would they feel in the air between you?"
• Watch for: each partner naming their own contribution rather than the other's.

4.4 Wildest dreams (horizon setting)

• Purpose: use "energy follows attention" and Appreciative Inquiry to set a shared horizon before any problem talk [source: CTC eps. 250–251; Neil Sattin ep. 69; GoodTherapy overview].
• Steps:
  1. Each partner names their wildest dream for the relationship, framed as a horizon, not a goal.
  2. Distinguish hope ("I hope it gets better") from dream (a vivid picture of what could be) [source: CTC ep. 250].
  3. Translate deficit language into abundance language: "I don't want fights" becomes "I am dreaming of..." [source: Neil Sattin ep. 69].
  4. The other partner listens and reflects back the core of the dream (see 4.12).
• Example language (illustrative): "Forget for a moment what's realistic. If your relationship were everything you secretly long for, what would a Tuesday evening look like? Start with 'I am dreaming of...'"
• Watch for: relapse into complaint. Gently restate it as a dream. Aliveness and surprise in the faces show it is working.

4.5 Nonverbal bridge (limbic resonance)

• Purpose: regulate both nervous systems and establish connection before words. Every visit begins this way [source: CTC eps. 250–251; GoodTherapy Amends webinar on the "brain-bridge" and limbic resonance].
• Steps:
  1. Partners sit facing each other about 18 inches apart.
  2. They look into each other's eyes and breathe [source: CTC ep. 251].
  3. The therapist guides a 10–15 minute visualisation with eye contact and, where the couple consents, hand or skin contact [source: CTC ep. 250].
  4. Afterwards each describes the quality of the space they felt [source: CTC ep. 250].
  5. [synthesis] Let either partner close their eyes or look away briefly if overwhelmed. Use slow, paced breathing cues.
• Example language (illustrative): "Just look. No need to say anything. Let your breath slow... notice the person in front of you... what is the space between you like now?"
• Watch for: giggling, looking away and agitation, which are normal early on; slowed breathing and softened faces. [synthesis] With trauma survivors, sustained eye contact can trigger; offer graded duration.

4.6 Meditative sitting (home version)

• Purpose: a daily or weekly practice of the nonverbal bridge [source: Neil Sattin ep. 69].
• Steps:
  1. Sit together in silence and look at each other for a set time.
  2. Stay with any discomfort rather than filling it.
  3. [synthesis] Briefly name one word for the space afterwards.
• Example language (illustrative): "Five minutes, no phones, just being with each other. If it's awkward, let it be awkward."
• Watch for: it being used as a test of the other. Keep it invitational.

4.7 Alien-observer description of the conflict

• Purpose: make the survival dance visible as a nonverbal pattern, leaving out content and blame [source: CTC ep. 250].
• Steps:
  1. Ask the partners to imagine aliens watching their typical fight who understand none of the words. Hedy Schleifer calls the aliens' language by an invented name; the transcript spelling is unclear.
  2. Each describes only what the aliens would see: who moves forward, who retreats, voices, posture, speed.
  3. Help them map the cycle as a sequence of moves.
• Example language (illustrative): "If someone from another planet watched your last fight with the sound off, what would they see you each doing?"
• Watch for: slipping back into content ("but she said..."); bring it back to bodies. Laughter or recognition shows it is working.

4.8 Naming the survival dance and survival knot; essence vs. survival pattern

• Purpose: move the couple from "you are the problem" to "our pattern is the problem" [source: CTC ep. 250; GoodTherapy Survival Knot webinar; UMC seminar summary].
• Steps:
  1. Name the reactive cycle, often a pursue-for-connection and withdraw pattern. Hedy Schleifer's teaching image is a "hailstorm" partner and a "turtle" partner [source: UMC seminar summary].
  2. Identify the survival knot: the core impasse where one partner's desperate need meets the other's firm resistance [source: GoodTherapy Survival Knot webinar].
  3. Distinguish each partner's essence (goodness, creativity, depth) from the survival pattern built to cope with past injury.
  4. Explore that most of the energy of a current frustration comes from the past, and that under each frustration lies a wish best stated as a specific, positive request [source: UMC seminar summary].
  5. Contrast the survival dance with the "dance of life" they want [source: CTC ep. 250].
  6. Agree on a signal to stop the dance [synthesis].
• Example language (illustrative): "When the hailstorm comes and the turtle goes into the shell, that's not who either of you is. It's how each of you learned to survive. Underneath, there's still the person you fell in love with."
• Watch for: relief, and each partner owning their own move. If one is cast as "the hailstorm" as blame, rebalance.

4.9 Hosting and visiting: crossing the bridge

• Purpose: the central practice. One partner hosts and invites the other into their inner world; the other leaves their own world and visits with curiosity [source: Neil Sattin ep. 69; CTC ep. 251; GoodTherapy overview; TEDx summary].
• Steps:
  1. Begin with the nonverbal bridge (4.5).
  2. The host asks whether the partner is ready to visit. The visitor accepts only if able to set aside assumptions and the past; otherwise they postpone [source: Neil Sattin ep. 69].
  3. The visitor deliberately leaves their own world. In the TEDx talk Hedy Schleifer describes this as leaving the world where she is struggling and bringing "new eyes" [source: TEDx summary]. [uncertain] Popular accounts of a "passport" ritual for this step are unconfirmed.
  4. The host chooses a neighbourhood (4.10) and speaks as transparently as they are able. The visitor listens generatively (4.12).
  5. The visitor thanks the host for the visit and returns to their own world [synthesis].
  6. Swap roles in the same or a later session [synthesis on timing].
• Example language (illustrative): Host: "Would you like to visit me in my world? I'd like to show you the neighbourhood of my work." Visitor: "I'm leaving my own worries on my side. I'm here as a visitor."
• Watch for: the visitor bringing their own world across (defending, correcting, "yes, but"). Pause and ask them to return to their side and come back when ready. It is working when the visitor is curious, the host discloses more, and both are surprised.

4.10 Mapping neighbourhoods

• Purpose: turn each partner's inner world into named territories so visits can be chosen and paced [source: Neil Sattin ep. 69; CTC ep. 250; GoodTherapy overview].
• Steps:
  1. Each partner lists their "neighbourhoods": precious ones (joys, strengths, passions), rough ones (fears, conflicts, money, sex) and childhood ones.
  2. They name them to each other and decide together which to visit and in what order. Precious ones come first [source: CTC ep. 250].
  3. The therapist flags neighbourhoods that need professional support before being visited at home, such as abandonment or distrust [source: Neil Sattin ep. 69].
  4. [synthesis] Rate each one's intensity and readiness, roughly 0–10, to plan the order.
• Example language (illustrative): "If your inner world were a city, what neighbourhoods would you show a visitor first? Which ones do you keep the gates closed on?"
• Watch for: neighbourhoods the couple avoids or keeps collapsing into. These usually point to the survival knot.

4.11 Visiting a precious neighbourhood

• Purpose: build a store of positive encounters and resources before hard material. These visits often take several sessions [source: CTC ep. 250].
• Steps:
  1. Nonverbal bridge.
  2. The host invites the visitor into a strength or joy neighbourhood: a passion, a talent, a cherished memory, "the neighbourhood of money" seen through its strengths [source: CTC ep. 251].
  3. Generative listening (4.12) until the host discovers something new.
  4. Close by having both describe the space. [synthesis] Each partner can then name one thing they appreciated in the other's world.
  5. Swap roles.
• Example language (illustrative): "Take your partner to the neighbourhood where you feel most alive. Show them around."
• Watch for: hosts minimising ("it's nothing special"). Invite more detail. Visible delight in the visitor shows it is working.

4.12 Generative listening and generative speaking

• Purpose: the listening form used during visits. It differs from the three-step Imago dialogue: the listener says very little and follows the speaker toward essence [source: CTC ep. 250, citing Scharmer's four levels of listening: habitual, factual, empathic, generative].
• Steps:
  1. The speaker explores a thought freely, in many words.
  2. The listener repeats back only the core statement, briefly, then invites more ("tell me more") [source: CTC ep. 250].
  3. The cycle repeats, each round moving closer to the essence.
  4. The round ends when the speaker discovers something new about themselves, which they can name as a discovery [source: CTC ep. 250].
  5. Coach the listener to listen with open mind, open heart and open will: curiosity, empathy, and letting go of their own agenda [source: CTC ep. 250, via Scharmer].
• Example language: Listener: "Tell me more" [source: CTC ep. 250]. Speaker at the end (illustrative): "I just realised something about myself I didn't know."
• Watch for: the listener paraphrasing at length, interpreting or rebutting. Model shorter reflections. The shift is working when the speaker slows, goes quiet, and reaches a surprised new statement.

4.13 Going down the U

• Purpose: work through the biggest conflict or survival knot, adapting Otto Scharmer's Theory U [source: CTC eps. 250–251].
• Steps:
  1. Start at the top-left of the U with the problem as each sees it.
  2. Move down: each partner, in turn as host, goes beneath positions into feelings, fears and history, while the visitor listens generatively.
  3. Reach the bottom of the U: the hardest truth, never yet spoken.
  4. Look for the "embedded gift" in that truth.
  5. Rise up the right side toward a future solution that comes out of the encounter.
  6. Couples later use the phrase "let's go down the U" themselves when conflict starts at home [source: CTC ep. 251].
• Example language (illustrative): "Let's not solve this yet. Let's go down. What's under the anger? ... And under that? ... What have you never said to each other about this?"
• Watch for: rushing up to solutions before the bottom. Silence and tears often mark the bottom. A new, shared solution neither had before shows it is working.
• Risk [synthesis]: "never-voiced truths" can include disclosures such as affairs, abuse or intent to leave. Prepare for disclosure management and safety before this step.

4.14 Thirteen-minute tough conversation

• Purpose: a time-boxed contained talk about the hardest issue, which builds trust that hard topics can be touched and closed [source: CTC ep. 250].
• Steps:
  1. Set a timer for 13 minutes. Hedy Schleifer links the number 13 to the Hebrew words for "love" and "one".
  2. Talk about the toughest issue.
  3. Stop when the timer goes, even mid-sentence.
  4. [synthesis] Return to nonverbal connection briefly before parting.
• Example language (illustrative): "When the timer goes, you stop, even mid-sentence. The topic will still be there next time."
• Watch for: refusal to stop, or flooding. [synthesis] Shorten the time, or move back to the nonverbal bridge.

4.15 The time machine

• Purpose: revisit childhood roots of the survival pattern with the partner as witness, aiming at memory reconsolidation [source: CTC ep. 250; GoodTherapy webinar bio].
• Steps:
  1. After the nonverbal bridge, guide one partner (with consent) back to a childhood memory linked to the survival pattern.
  2. The partner speaks from that memory, including speaking to their parents.
  3. The other partner is present as a visitor in this childhood neighbourhood.
  4. [synthesis] Bring in a new experience while the memory is active (the partner's presence, the adult self, the needed words). Then return to the present and ground.
• Example language (illustrative): "Let's step into the time machine... how old are you? ... what's happening around you? ... what would you want to say to your mother now?"
• Watch for: dissociation or retraumatisation [synthesis]. Check orientation and stop if needed. It is working when the old pattern's emotional charge drops in later sessions.
• Note: the full procedure is not published [uncertain].

4.16 Amends Journey after an affair

• Purpose: a ritual to heal the rupture of infidelity, dissolve the victim-perpetrator trap and open a space for compassion and forgiveness. Partners become "bilingual" so each story is fully understood [source: GoodTherapy Amends webinar].
• Steps: the webinar describes "a step-by-step therapeutic structure" but the steps are not public [uncertain]. [synthesis] Consistent with the method:
  1. Stabilise and regulate with the nonverbal bridge.
  2. Hold separate host-and-visitor visits so each partner's world is fully heard, the hurt partner's first.
  3. The involved partner visits the injury without defending.
  4. Take a time machine visit to older wounds where relevant (the webinar says older childhood wounds can be addressed).
  5. Close with a formal amends ritual chosen by the couple.
• Watch for: the hurt partner being pressured toward forgiveness. In the [synthesis], forgiveness follows understanding; it is never a goal set by the therapist.

4.17 Home sanctuary and weekly visit

• Purpose: carry the practice into daily life [source: CTC ep. 251].
• Steps:
  1. The couple sets up a small corner at home with two chairs facing each other and photos of children, pets and their own childhood images.
  2. They schedule a weekly visit there: nonverbal bridge, then a host-and-visitor visit.
  3. [synthesis] Agree on how long it lasts, which neighbourhoods are off-limits at home, and a stop signal.
• Watch for: visits skipped, or used to raise complaints. Review these in session.

4.18 Rituals of appreciation and journalling

• Purpose: reinforce the new pattern [source: GoodTherapy overview (secondary); UMC seminar summary on generous appreciation and re-romanticising].
• Steps: [synthesis on detail]
  1. Partners regularly express specific appreciations.
  2. They keep a journal of encounters and discoveries.
  3. They make a conscious re-romanticising practice of their own design.
• Watch for: routine, hollow appreciations. Ask for specifics and the feeling behind them.

4.19 Integration questions and levels of learning

• Purpose: consolidate transformational ("Level 3") learning [source: Neil Sattin ep. 69].
• Steps:
  1. At the end of a session or of the programme, each partner answers four questions: what have I learned, what am I relearning, what surprised me, what am I intrigued by.
  2. Place the change on Hedy Schleifer's levels of learning: 0 is exposure, 1 is interest, 2 is integration, 3 is transformation with a clear before and after.
• Example language (illustrative): "What surprised you today, about yourself or each other?"
• Watch for: answers that are only intellectual. Ask what they would do differently on Thursday night.

5. Handling problems

Hedy Schleifer says little about difficulties. She reports that reactive escalation in session "doesn't happen" in her format, and puts this down to the structure and to self-selection of committed couples [source: CTC ep. 251]. Treat that as the founder's claim, not a guarantee. Most guidance below is [synthesis].

• Escalation or flooding in session.
  • Founder's guidance: when conflict surfaces, use "let's go down the U" at the chairs rather than arguing the content [source: CTC ep. 251].
  • [synthesis] Stop the exchange and return to the nonverbal bridge (4.5): breath, eye contact or eyes closed, feet on floor. Resume only when both report the space has settled. If one partner stays flooded, see them alone briefly or take a break.
• Visitor can't leave their own world (defends, corrects, counter-complains).
  • Founder's guidance: postpone the visit rather than visit unready [source: Neil Sattin ep. 69].
  • [synthesis] Name it kindly ("you've brought your suitcase across"), let them say their own piece briefly to you, then invite them back as a visitor. Or reverse roles so they host first.
• Stuck in complaint and deficit language.
  • Founder's guidance: restate as a dream ("I am dreaming of...") [source: Neil Sattin ep. 69].
  • [synthesis] If that fails, explore the wish beneath the frustration and turn it into a specific, positive request [source: UMC seminar summary].
• One partner reluctant or ambivalent about the relationship.
  • [synthesis] Find out at the consultation; the founder relies on full commitment [source: CTC ep. 251]. For a mixed-agenda couple, offer discernment-style work or individual sessions before enrolling, rather than forcing the intensive.
• Discomfort with eye contact or touch.
  • [synthesis] Make eye contact and touch optional and graded: shorter durations, looking at hands, side-by-side seating. Never require touch. Give extra care with trauma survivors and anyone with sensory or neurodivergent differences.
• Non-adherence to home practice (sanctuary visits skipped).
  • [synthesis] Shrink the task (five minutes of meditative sitting). Fix a time, and review obstacles without blame. If visits are being used to fight, ask the couple to do only the nonverbal part at home until in-session skills are steady.
• The "never-spoken truth" turns out to be explosive (secret affair, intent to leave, abuse).
  • [synthesis] Have a disclosure policy agreed at intake. Pause the U process, assess safety, and plan the disclosure. For infidelity, move to the Amends Journey framing (4.16) or another established affair-recovery protocol.
• Intimate partner violence or coercive control.
  • [synthesis] Screen each partner individually. Conjoint EcCT, especially the vulnerability work, is contraindicated while there is fear, coercion or recent violence. Refer to individual and specialist services and safety planning.
• Time machine triggers dissociation or trauma flashbacks.
  • [synthesis] Stop, orient to the present (name the room, the date, the partner's face), and ground. Treat individual trauma separately first, then return with a smaller "dose" (a shorter or less charged memory).
• Rupture with the therapist (one partner feels the therapist sides with the other).
  • [synthesis] Apply the method's own stance to yourself: host the partner's experience and visit their world. Reflect it without defending, own your part, and restore balance between partners. Hedy Schleifer's guide stance helps here, as long as the guide stays visibly even-handed.
• Grief at the gap between the real and the dreamed relationship.
  • Founder's guidance: grief is natural when the tension between how things are and how they could be is held. Ground and regulate yourself, and remember the in-between state is temporary [source: Neil Sattin ep. 69].
  • [synthesis] Normalise this in session, and slow the pace.
• Format problems (the intensive or ten-session package is too costly, or doesn't fit a service).
  • [synthesis] The components (nonverbal bridge, hosting and visiting, generative listening, neighbourhoods) can be taught across weekly sessions. Keep the order: dreams and strengths first, challenges later. Say you are "using EcCT-informed exercises" rather than delivering EcCT.
• Imago overlap confusion.
  • Couples or clinicians trained in Imago may default to the full three-step dialogue.
  • [synthesis] Explain that EcCT's generative listening deliberately keeps the listener's words minimal and aims at the speaker's own discovery [source: CTC ep. 250].

Sources

Sources:

• Couples Therapist Couch, ep. 250: Encounter-centered Transformation (EcT) with Hedy Schleifer (founder interview, transcript)
• Couples Therapist Couch, ep. 251: Compassion in Encounter-centered Transformation with Hedy Schleifer (founder interview, machine transcript)
• Neil Sattin, ep. 69: How to Be Completely Alive in Your Relationship, Hedy Schleifer (founder interview)
• GoodTherapy: The Miracle of Connection: A Space, A Bridge, An Encounter (webinar, Hedy Schleifer)
• GoodTherapy: Liberating a Couple's Creative Energy with Encounter-Centered Couples Therapy (webinar, Hedy Schleifer)
• GoodTherapy: Encounter-centered Couples Therapy: The Amends Journey After an Affair (webinar, Hedy Schleifer)
• GoodTherapy: Encounter-Centered Couples Therapy overview (secondary)
• UMC Discipleship: Crossing the Bridge with Hedy and Yumi, free seminar recordings (summary of a Hedy and Yumi seminar)
• LunaHolistic: Crossing the Bridge, Hedy Schleifer, The Power of Connection (summary of TEDxTelAviv talk; secondary)
• Get Therapy Birmingham: Encounter-Centered Couples Therapy, a comprehensive overview (not relied on: its cited 2016 Routledge book by the Schleifers is unverified)
• Conor Neill: Getting the Love You Want (context only)

Further reading (not drawn on): hedyyumi.com, hedyschleifer.com, eccttraining.com, the Connectfulness "Survival Knot" episode. Training, certification and full intervention scripts are therefore [uncertain].

Works referenced by the founder (not drawn on): Buber, M. (1923) Ich und Du (I and Thou); Scharmer, C. O. (2009) Theory U; Hendrix, H. (1988) Getting the Love You Want.