Life coaching · Atlas

1. Introduction

Version followed: the ICF Core Competency Model (2019 text, with the 2025 revisions noted) as the professional standard for any life-coaching session; the GROW model (Whitmore, Coaching for Performance, 1992; as presented by Performance Consultants) as the session sequence; the Co-Active model (Whitworth, Kimsey-House, Kimsey-House & Sandahl, Co-Active Coaching, 1st ed. 1998, 4th ed. 2018; Co-Active Training Institute, CTI) as the most widely taught life-coaching skills model; Anthony Grant's solution-focused, cognitive-behavioural goal-focused approach for action planning; the ICF guide Referring a Client to Therapy (Hullinger & DiGirolamo, 2018, pilot) and the EMCC/AC Global Code of Ethics for the coaching–therapy boundary.

What it is. Life coaching is not a single therapy or manualised protocol. It is a field of practice: a collaborative, goal-focused conversation with a well-functioning adult about their personal life (purpose, values, relationships, career, transitions, wellbeing, balance), as distinct from executive or performance coaching inside an organisation. Several named models are used within it; this guide combines the three that are most explicitly published (ICF competencies, GROW, Co-Active) and says where each piece comes from. [source: ICF Core Competencies; Performance Consultants GROW page; CTI "What is Co-Active?"]

Core idea of change. The coachee is treated as "naturally creative, resourceful, and whole" (CTI cornerstone), the owner of the agenda and of every decision. Change comes from raising the coachee's awareness and responsibility (Whitmore/GROW) through listening, questions and observation, then turning new insight into self-chosen goals, actions and accountability (ICF Competency 8). Grant holds that behaviour is goal-directed and that coaching helps people articulate implicit goals, align them with values, and write simple action plans. [source: CTI; Performance Consultants; Coaching at Work interview with A. Grant]

For a psychotherapist. Coaching bodies define coaching as not counselling, psychotherapy or medical intervention (EMCC/AC Global Code). If you offer life coaching, you are changing role, contract and focus, not just technique; Sections 2, 4.1 and 5 deal with how to keep that boundary. [source: Global Code of Ethics; ICF Competency 1]

2. Framework

Life coaching has no fixed session count in the sources cited. The structure below is the engagement arc implied by ICF Competencies 3 and 8 and the Global Code (beginnings, ongoing work, endings), with GROW as the within-session sequence. Where I give typical numbers they are [synthesis] and [uncertain].

Phase A: Enquiry, fit and boundary check

Goal: decide whether coaching (rather than therapy or another service) is right, and whether you and the coachee fit. ICF 3.5: explore with the client whether the two of you are a good fit. [source: ICF Core Competencies]
Format: one short exploratory conversation ([synthesis]: commonly 20–30 minutes, free or low-cost).
Move on when: the coachee wants development or change toward goals, is functioning day to day, and shows none of the referral indicators in 4.28 / Section 5 [source: ICF Referring a Client to Therapy].

Phase B: Contracting the engagement (designed alliance)

Goal: an explicit agreement about what coaching is and isn't, the process, roles and responsibilities, logistics, fees, scheduling, duration, ending, confidentiality and its limits, and any third parties; an overall coaching plan and goals (ICF 3.1–3.4). In Co-Active terms this is the "designed alliance", a relationship built between equals in which the coachee, not the coach, is ultimately in control. [source: ICF; Mind Tools summary of Whitworth et al. 1998; Global Code "Beginnings"]
Format: first full session, or the first part of it.
Move on when: agreement is clear and recorded, including when confidentiality would be breached and that coaching is not therapy.

Phase C: Working sessions (repeated)

Goal: each session: agree a session outcome and success measure (ICF 3.6–3.8), work through it (GROW: Goal, Reality, Options, Will; flexibly, returning to Goal when needed), end with self-written actions and accountability, summarise learning and close collaboratively (ICF 8.2–8.8; Grant). [source: ICF; Performance Consultants; Grant]
Content across sessions (Co-Active): the coachee's agenda is held in three areas: Fulfillment (values, a compelling vision, acting despite self-defeating influences), Balance (multiple perspectives, choosing from possibility, structures for sustained action) and Process (staying with what is present, including emotionally charged material). [source: CTI Catalog; Mind Tools]
Format: [synthesis][uncertain]: usually individual, by video, phone or in person, 45–60 minutes, every 1–4 weeks, over roughly 3–12 months; the ICF agreement fixes the actual duration.
Move on (or close) when: the engagement goals are met or measured as agreed (ICF 3.8), the coachee chooses to end (Global Code: right to end at any point), or a referral indicator emerges.

Phase D: Ending

Goal: close the relationship in a way that honours the experience (ICF 3.11); promote the coachee's independence and self-reliance rather than dependence (Global Code); recommend ending where a different form of professional help would serve better (Global Code). [source: ICF; Global Code]
Format: a final review session [synthesis].

Running across all phases

Referral watch: coach-side and client-side referral indicators are monitored throughout (ICF referral guide).
Supervision: regular supervision with a suitably qualified supervisor or peer supervision (Global Code; ICF 2.8 "seeks support from others when needed"; 2025 revision adds supervisors and mentor coaches to Competency 2). [source: Global Code; ICF; Tandem Coaching summary of 2025 changes]

3. Guiding principles

[source: as tagged per line]

The coachee is naturally creative, resourceful and whole (CTI cornerstone): do not treat the coachee as broken or as a patient; assume they can find their own answers. If you cannot hold this stance with this person, that is information for referral (Section 5).
The coachee sets the agenda (Mind Tools summary of Whitworth et al.): you work on what they bring; you do not bring a treatment plan.
Dance in this moment (CTI): follow what is present in the person and the conversation rather than a fixed script.
Focus on the whole person (CTI): values, roles, body, emotion and life context, not just the presenting goal.
Evoke transformation (CTI): aim for a shift in how the coachee relates to themselves and their life, not only incremental gains.
Raise awareness and responsibility (Whitmore, via Performance Consultants): every question should increase what the coachee notices and what they own; advice-giving reduces both.
A model is not coaching (Whitmore: "Any dictator can use GROW", via Performance Consultants): GROW is useless without a partnering, non-directive stance.
The client is responsible for their own choices (ICF 2.1, 8.3): goals, actions and accountability methods are the coachee's to choose.
Explicit agreements (ICF Competency 3): engagement-level and session-level agreements are made and re-checked; you stay with the agreed outcome unless the coachee redirects (ICF 3.10).
Trust and safety in the coachee's context (ICF Competency 4): understand them within their identity, environment, culture and values; acknowledge strengths and effort.
Presence (ICF Competency 5): stay curious, grounded and comfortable not knowing; make room for silence; stay steady when the coachee feels intensely.
Listen to what is and is not said (ICF Competency 6; Co-Active listening levels): track words, tone, energy, body language and patterns across sessions.
Curiosity over expertise (Mind Tools summary of Co-Active): ask from genuine interest, not to collect data or steer to your answer.
Offer, don't impose (ICF 7.11; Co-Active intuition): share observations, intuitions and feelings without attachment; the coachee decides what fits.
Accountability without blame (Whitworth et al. via Mind Tools): the coachee reports back to create learning; hold them to account rigorously "with a light hand".
Coach self-management (Co-Active; ICF 2.6–2.7, 5.3): manage your own opinions and emotions, prepare before each session, and do not avoid saying difficult things.
Write it down (Grant): "If it ain't written, it ain't coaching!" Every session ends with an action plan the coachee writes.
Coaching is not therapy (Global Code; ICF 1.6): keep coaching distinct from psychotherapy and other professions; work within competence and refer when another professional serves the coachee better (ICF 1.7).
Promote independence (Global Code "Beginnings"): design the work so the coachee needs you less over time.
Ethics and culture (ICF 1.2, 2.4; 2025 revision adds awareness of your own biases): adjust language and approach to the coachee's identity and context.

4. Intervention inventory

Sources: ICF Core Competencies (competency and marker numbers given as ICF x.y), Performance Consultants GROW page, CTI course catalogue and "What is Co-Active?", Mind Tools summary of Whitworth et al. (1998), ICF Referring a Client to Therapy (2018), EMCC/AC Global Code, Grant interview. The Co-Active book itself is drawn on only through its table of contents and secondary summaries, so Co-Active skills are described at the level those sources give; finer CTI skill names that cannot be verified are left out. All example language is illustrative.

4.1 Contracting the engagement (designed alliance)

Purpose / when: first session; re-open whenever scope drifts. Sets the coaching–therapy boundary up front. [source: ICF 3.1–3.4, 1.6; Global Code "Beginnings"; Mind Tools on designed alliance]
Steps: (1) Explain what coaching is and is not, and your coaching philosophy and approach (2025 wording of ICF 3.01). (2) State plainly that coaching is not counselling, psychotherapy or medical treatment and that you will raise it if another service would serve them better. (3) Agree roles: coachee owns agenda, choices and actions; coach owns process, questions, honest observation. (4) Agree logistics: fees, schedule, length, number of sessions, cancellation, how either party ends. (5) Agree confidentiality and the conditions under which it cannot be kept (risk of serious harm; legal duties in your jurisdiction). (6) Agree any third-party involvement (payer, employer). (7) Co-create the overall coaching plan and goals and how success will be measured (ICF 3.4, 3.8). (8) Design the alliance: ask how they want you to work with them (e.g. how direct, how to handle missed actions). (9) Record it in writing.
Example language (illustrative): "Coaching is about where you want to go next and how you get there. It isn't therapy, and I won't be diagnosing or treating anything. If something comes up that therapy or a doctor would help more with, I'll say so and we'll talk about it together." / "How do you want me to be with you when you haven't done what you said you'd do?"
Watch for: a coachee who wants to talk mainly about past pain, or who has come because a therapist is unaffordable; vague goals; a third-party payer expecting reports. Working when: the coachee can restate what coaching is and what they want from it.

4.2 Fit and suitability check

Purpose / when: enquiry conversation and first session; repeat if concerns arise. [source: ICF 3.5; ICF referral guide]
Steps: (1) Ask what prompted them to seek coaching now and what they want to be different. (2) Ask about current day-to-day functioning (work, self-care, relationships, sleep) in ordinary conversational terms. (3) Ask whether they are in therapy or under medical care for anything that bears on the goal, and whether that professional knows. (4) Listen for the ICF referral indicators (4.28). (5) Explore fit openly: style, chemistry, practicalities. (6) Decide together: coaching now, coaching alongside therapy, or referral first.
Example language (illustrative): "On a typical week at the moment, how are sleep, work and the people around you?" / "Is anyone else supporting you with this right now, a counsellor or a doctor?"
Watch for: [synthesis] as a psychotherapist you will spot clinical features quickly; do not convert this into a diagnostic interview (coaches do not diagnose, ICF referral guide), and do not take on as a coaching client someone who is or was your therapy client without very careful dual-role consideration under your licensing body's rules.

4.3 Session agreement

Purpose / when: start of every session. [source: ICF 3.6–3.10]
Steps: (1) Ask what they want to accomplish in this session. (2) Ask what they believe they need to address to get there. (3) Agree how they will know the session has been useful (success measure). (4) Share responsibility for time and focus. (5) Keep to that outcome unless the coachee redirects; if they shift, name it and re-agree.
Example language (illustrative): "What would you like to walk away with today?" "What do we need to look at to get you there?" "How will you know this hour was worth it?" "We started on X and we're now on Y. Which do you want to stay with?"
Watch for: sessions that drift into story-telling without an outcome; repeated agendas with no movement (possible referral indicator).

4.4 GROW: Goal

Purpose / when: clarify what the coachee wants, for the engagement or the session; return here whenever the work loses direction. [source: Performance Consultants]
Steps: (1) Ask what they want. (2) Help make it inspiring and challenging, not merely SMART (Performance Consultants' emphasis). (3) Invite them to imagine having achieved it. (4) Check it is within their control and aligned with their values [synthesis; Grant on aligning goals with values]. (5) Confirm a success measure.
Example language: "What will it be like if you achieve your goal?" (Performance Consultants) / "What would make this goal genuinely exciting rather than just sensible?" (illustrative)
Watch for: goals set to please others ("should" language); goals that are really symptom relief ("stop feeling anxious"), which may indicate a clinical need [synthesis].

4.5 GROW: Reality

Purpose / when: describe the current situation and internal and external obstacles objectively; often needs more time than Goal. [source: Performance Consultants]
Steps: (1) Ask what is happening now, factually. (2) Ask what has been tried so far and with what effect. (3) Ask what is getting in the way, outside and inside. (4) Reflect back without judgement. (5) Check whether the Goal still fits; revisit if not.
Example language: "What action have you taken so far?" "What is getting in the way?" (Performance Consultants) / "On a scale of 1–10, where are you now with this?" (illustrative)
Watch for: Reality becoming extended exploration of past hurts, victim narrative or trauma: ICF referral indicators (4.28).

4.6 GROW: Options

Purpose / when: generate possibilities, strengths and resources before choosing. [source: Performance Consultants; ICF 7.9]
Steps: (1) Ask for all options without evaluating. (2) Keep asking "what else?" until the list is exhausted. (3) Ask what strengths and resources they could draw on. (4) Ask what they would do with no constraints, or what someone they admire would do [synthesis]. (5) Only then evaluate pros and cons. (6) Offer an idea of your own only with permission and without attachment.
Example language: "What else could you do?" "What are the principal advantages and disadvantages of each option?" (Performance Consultants)
Watch for: coach suggestions taken as instructions; "yes, but" to every option (see Section 5).

4.7 GROW: Will (commitment and accountability)

Purpose / when: turn intention into specific action; the "barometer of success" in the PC presentation. [source: Performance Consultants; ICF 8.2–8.5]
Steps: (1) Ask which option(s) they will act on. (2) Pin down what, when, with whom. (3) Ask about obstacles and support. (4) Ask them to rate commitment 1–10; if below 10, ask what would make it a 10 (or reduce the action until it is). (5) Accept "do nothing now and review later" as a legitimate choice. (6) Agree how they will report progress.
Example language: "When are you going to start each action?" (Performance Consultants) / "How committed are you, 1 to 10? What would make it a 10?" (illustrative, paraphrasing PC)
Watch for: low ratings that do not move; actions chosen to satisfy you.

4.8 Three levels of listening

Purpose / when: throughout; a Co-Active Fundamentals skill. [source: CTI Catalog; Mind Tools summary; ICF blog on listening levels]
Steps: (1) Notice when you are at the internal level (hearing through your own reactions, planning your next question, judging). (2) Shift to focused listening: on the coachee's words, meaning and what is unsaid. (3) Open to global listening: tone, energy, emotion, the atmosphere between you. (4) Use what you pick up to steer: reflect it, ask about it or offer it as an observation. ICF 6.3–6.6 adds: notice when there is more to what is being said, explore emotions, energy shifts and non-verbal cues, and track patterns across sessions.
Example language (illustrative): "Your voice dropped when you mentioned your sister. What's there?"
Watch for: your attention drifting; treat the drift itself as information (ICF blog, J. Johnson).

4.9 Reflecting and summarising

Purpose / when: confirm understanding and give the coachee their own words to work with. [source: ICF 6.2, 8.6]
Steps: (1) Reflect key words, not your paraphrase of them. (2) Summarise at transitions between GROW stages. (3) Check accuracy. (4) Ask what stands out to them in the summary.
Example language (illustrative): "So you've said 'trapped' three times. Is that the word?"
Watch for: summaries that slip in your interpretation.

4.10 Powerful (curious) questions

Purpose / when: the main tool of Evoking Awareness; any stage. [source: ICF 7.3–7.5, 7.9; CTI Fundamentals; Mind Tools]
Steps: (1) Ask short, open questions from genuine curiosity, not information gathering. (2) Ask about thinking, values, needs, wants and beliefs (ICF 7.3). (3) Ask questions that take them beyond current thinking (7.4). (4) Invite them to share their experience in the moment (7.5). (5) Ask one question at a time and wait. (6) Avoid leading questions that signal a right answer (Mind Tools warns these produce defensiveness or the answer the client thinks you want).
Example language (illustrative): "What matters most to you here?" "What are you not saying?" "What's true for you right now, as you talk about it?"
Watch for: "why" questions heard as accusations [synthesis]; stacked questions; questions that are disguised advice.

4.11 Silence

Purpose / when: after a powerful question, after an emotional moment, or when the coachee is reflecting. [source: ICF 5.6, 7 definition; ICF referral guide "allow silence"]
Steps: (1) Ask the question. (2) Stop talking; do not rephrase. (3) Wait until the coachee speaks or signals they are done. (4) Ask what came up in the silence.
Example language (illustrative): "Take your time." … "What came to you just then?"
Watch for: your own discomfort filling the space; silence that becomes freezing or dissociation, which needs a different response (Section 5).

4.12 Metaphor and analogy

Purpose / when: to reach meaning that literal description misses; listed by ICF as an Evoking Awareness tool. [source: ICF Competency 7 definition]
Steps: (1) Pick up a metaphor the coachee already used, or offer one tentatively. (2) Ask them to describe it more (size, shape, feel). (3) Ask what the metaphor suggests about the way forward. (4) Bring it back to concrete action.
Example language (illustrative): "You said it's like running on a treadmill. What would getting off look like?"
Watch for: imposing your metaphor; staying in the image without returning to action.

4.13 Intuition and sharing observations without attachment

Purpose / when: when you sense something unspoken; a named Co-Active context. [source: Mind Tools summary; ICF 7.11; ICF blog]
Steps: (1) Notice the hunch (gut feeling, image, sensation). (2) Separate it from judgement or interpretation. (3) Ask permission if it is personal. (4) Offer it promptly and briefly as an observation, not a fact. (5) Let the coachee accept, change or discard it; ask what it brings up.
Example language (illustrative): "Can I share something I'm noticing? This may be completely off." … "I'm getting a picture of you holding the door open for everyone else. Does that mean anything?"
Watch for: [synthesis] clinical interpretations dressed as intuition ("this sounds like your father") pull the conversation into therapy; keep observations in the present and future.

4.14 Appropriate challenge

Purpose / when: when the coachee is playing small, contradicting their stated values, or avoiding. [source: ICF 7.2; Mind Tools on Co-Active self-management (do not avoid hard truths)]
Steps: (1) Check the alliance allows directness (4.1). (2) Name the pattern or contradiction specifically. (3) Stretch the request beyond what they think possible, making clear they can decline or counter-offer [synthesis on the counter-offer]. (4) Return to their choice.
Example language (illustrative): "You've told me freedom is your top value, and you've just agreed to three more commitments. What's going on?"
Watch for: shame or withdrawal; challenge used when the coachee is depleted (see Section 5).

4.15 Reframing and multiple perspectives

Purpose / when: when the coachee is stuck in one view of a situation; core to the Co-Active Balance work. [source: ICF 7.10; CTI Catalog (Balance)]
Steps: (1) Name the current perspective and how it feels from there. (2) Generate several alternative perspectives (other people's, future self, a metaphor, an opposite). (3) Have the coachee step into each and notice what changes. (4) Ask which perspective they choose to act from. (5) Plan from that perspective.
Example language (illustrative): "From where you stand now it's 'I'm stuck.' Let's find four other places to stand. What does this look like from ten years on?"
Watch for: reframes offered by you that minimise real constraints.

4.16 Values clarification

Purpose / when: early in an engagement and at decision points; core to Co-Active Fulfillment. [source: CTI Catalog (Fulfillment); ICF 7.3; Grant on aligning goals with values]
Steps: (1) Elicit values from lived moments, e.g. a peak experience or a time of anger. (2) Name the values in the coachee's own words. (3) Rate how fully each is lived now (in work and life). (4) Identify gaps. (5) Use values to test goals and choices.
Example language (illustrative): "Tell me about a time you felt most alive. What was being honoured in that moment?"
Watch for: "shoulds" mistaken for values.

4.17 Values-based vision of a compelling future

Purpose / when: after values work, to give direction to goals. [source: CTI Catalog (Fulfillment)]
Steps: (1) Invite the coachee to imagine a future in which their values are fully lived. (2) Make it sensory and specific. (3) Ask what stands out. (4) Derive goals and first steps from it.
Example language (illustrative): "Picture a Tuesday three years from now when your life fits you. Walk me through it."
Watch for: visions that are escapist rather than motivating.

4.18 Working with self-defeating influences ("saboteurs") and inner resources

Purpose / when: when an inner critical voice or habitual fear blocks action. CTI's Fulfillment course teaches helping clients recognise self-defeating influences and act despite them; a secondary source reports CTI training coaches to work with "saboteurs" and to activate inner helpers. [source: CTI Catalog; Deep Adaptation methods page]
Steps (CTI procedural detail not given; steps are [synthesis]): (1) Help the coachee notice the voice and what it says. (2) Name or personify it, separating it from them. (3) Ask what it is trying to protect them from. (4) Have them choose a response and act despite it. (5) Ask about a wiser or stronger inner resource and what it would advise.
Example language (illustrative): "If that voice had a name, what would it be?" "What does it want you to avoid?" "What would you do if it had no vote?"
Watch for: [synthesis] harsh self-hatred, intrusive thoughts, or voices experienced as external are clinical signs, not coaching material (Section 5, 4.28).

4.19 Letting go of preconceived rules and limitations

Purpose / when: when the coachee operates from unexamined rules about what is allowed. [source: CTI Catalog (Fulfillment); method detail not given, steps [synthesis]]
Steps: (1) Surface the rule ("I must…", "people like me don't…"). (2) Ask where it came from only enough to see it as a rule, not a fact. (3) Test it: what would happen if they broke it a little? (4) Design a small experiment.
Example language (illustrative): "Whose rule is that? What would a small, safe experiment in breaking it look like?"
Watch for: extended exploration of origins (therapy territory).

4.20 Planning from possibility and making powerful choices

Purpose / when: when the coachee plans only from current circumstances, or circles without deciding. Co-Active Balance course content. [source: CTI Catalog (Balance); method detail not given, steps [synthesis]]
Steps: (1) Ask what is possible if circumstances were not the starting point. (2) Lay out the options that emerge. (3) Ask the coachee to choose what they want most and what they are saying no to by choosing it. (4) Commit to it (4.7).
Example language (illustrative): "If you started from what you want rather than what you've got, what becomes possible?" "Choosing this means saying no to what?"
Watch for: choices that ignore real-world risks; indecision rooted in depression (Section 5).

4.21 Structures for sustained action

Purpose / when: when insight does not translate into consistent behaviour. Co-Active Balance course teaches techniques and structures for sustained action. [source: CTI Catalog (Balance); specific structures not given, examples [synthesis]]
Steps: (1) Ask what would remind or support them between sessions. (2) Co-design a structure: a calendar block, a visual cue, a buddy, a check-in message, a tracking log. (3) Agree how they will report on it. (4) Review and adjust next session.
Example language (illustrative): "What would keep this in front of you on a busy Wednesday?"
Watch for: structures that become another stick to beat themselves with.

4.22 Process coaching: staying with emotionally charged material

Purpose / when: when strong emotion, confusion or "chaos" arises; the Co-Active Process course teaches working with emotionally charged issues, seeing confusion as part of growth, staying present and connected, and helping coachees experience what is there rather than only talk about it. ICF 5.4: be comfortable working in a space of strong emotions. [source: CTI Catalog (Process); ICF 5.4, 6.4]
Steps (sequence is [synthesis] built on the CTI course aims): (1) Notice the shift (voice, breath, tears, energy). (2) Slow down and name it gently. (3) Ask permission to stay with it. (4) Invite present-moment description: where they feel it, what it is like, what it wants. (5) Let it move; do not rush to fix or analyse. (6) Ask what they now know. (7) Bring it back to the agreed session outcome or re-agree.
Example language (illustrative): "Something just shifted. Can we stay with it for a moment?" "Where is that in your body? What's it like?" "What do you know now that you didn't five minutes ago?"
Watch for: this is the point where coaching most easily slides into therapy. [synthesis] Stop process work and move to grounding and the referral conversation if the emotion links to trauma, the coachee becomes overwhelmed or dissociates, or the same feelings recur session after session without movement toward action (ICF referral indicator).

4.23 Acknowledging strengths, effort and progress

Purpose / when: throughout, and at session end. [source: ICF 4.3, 7.6, 8.7/8.08 (2025 changed "celebrates" to "acknowledges")]
Steps: (1) Name a specific quality the coachee showed, not just the result. (2) Point out what is already working (7.6). (3) Mark progress against the agreed measures.
Example language (illustrative): "It took real courage to have that conversation with your manager."
Watch for: praise that sounds like your approval; acknowledgement is about who they are being.

4.24 Designing accountability

Purpose / when: whenever actions are agreed. [source: ICF 8.2–8.3; Mind Tools summary of Whitworth et al.]
Steps: (1) Ask how the coachee wants to be held to account (report by email, at next session, to a friend). (2) Set expectations: accountability is reporting for learning, not blame or judgement; the coachee is in charge. (3) At the next session, ask what they did, what they didn't, and what they learned. (4) Notice and ask about intended actions not taken.
Example language (illustrative): "You said you'd send the application by Friday. What happened?" "What did you learn about yourself from not doing it?"
Watch for: guilt and avoidance; repeated non-completion (Section 5).

4.25 Self-written action plan

Purpose / when: end of every session. [source: Grant, Coaching at Work interview]
Steps: (1) Ask the coachee to write (not you) their actions, with timing. (2) Keep it simple. (3) Check each action links to their goal and values. (4) They keep it; optionally send you a copy.
Example language: "If it ain't written, it ain't coaching!" (Grant's catchphrase) / "Take a minute to write down exactly what you're committing to." (illustrative)
Watch for: long, perfectionist lists; actions that are vague ("think about…").

4.26 Life-domain review (rating wheel)

Purpose / when: first sessions or periodic reviews, to see the whole person and pick a focus. [synthesis][uncertain]: a rating wheel across life areas is a widely used life-coaching tool and is linked in search results to the Co-Active coach's toolkit, but no primary description is cited.
Steps ([synthesis]): (1) The coachee lists the main domains of their life (e.g. work, money, health, relationships, fun, growth, environment). (2) Rates current satisfaction in each 1–10. (3) Notices the overall shape. (4) Chooses one or two domains where a change would make the biggest difference. (5) Sets goals there (4.4).
Example language (illustrative): "Looking at this wheel, if it were a tyre, how bumpy is the ride? Where would one change lift several others?"
Watch for: uniformly low ratings, which may signal depression rather than a coaching agenda.

4.27 Summarising learning and closing the session

Purpose / when: last minutes of every session. [source: ICF 8.1, 8.4, 8.6, 8.8]
Steps: (1) Ask what they are learning about themselves and their situation. (2) Help them integrate it into how they see themselves and act (8.1). (3) Confirm actions, possible results and learning (8.4), resources and obstacles (8.5). (4) Close the session together (8.8).
Example language (illustrative): "What are you taking away today?" "What could get in the way this week, and what will you do if it does?"
Watch for: ending on unresolved distress (do a check before closing; Section 5).

4.28 The referral conversation

Purpose / when: when ICF referral indicators appear. [source: ICF Referring a Client to Therapy (2018); ICF 1.7; Global Code]
Indicators (ICF guide, paraphrased). Coach-side: you feel responsible for the coachee, pressured to solve their problems, stressed by their issues, anxious when they are due, or that you have failed them; the coachee is overly dependent on you. Functioning and progress: the issue interferes with daily functioning (self-care, work, home, leisure), especially for weeks; no progress after a reasonable time because of an underlying psychological barrier; stuck on a past event, recurring to the same issue, presenting as a victim or still suffering from trauma; wanting to keep processing feelings without moving to action; self-defeating behaviour blocking change. Specific concerns the guide lists: persistent worry or anxiety; depressed mood or loss of interest lasting more than two weeks; preoccupation with food or unexplained restriction of food groups; post-traumatic symptoms; substance misuse or addiction; suicidal thoughts, plans or attempts; paranoia, delusions, hallucinations or incoherent thinking. General distress signs: marked mood changes; declining work or study performance; withdrawal from people and activities; changes in weight, appearance or hygiene; sleep disturbance. A single sign is not enough; weigh clusters, persistence, frequency and intensity.
Steps (ICF guide's sequence, paraphrased): (1) Meet privately, unhurried. (2) Open with care and hope; be direct, honest, non-judgemental. (3) Name specific behaviours and changes you have observed. (4) Ask open questions and listen; validate. (5) Allow silence. (6) Ask how they feel about the suggestion of therapy. (7) Restate your concern and care. (8) Give concrete resources: a list of reliable therapists with different specialties. (9) Keep the topic open for later. (10) Offer practical help, e.g. booking the appointment during the session. Then: respect their decision unless there is risk of harm; if coaching cannot work until the issue is addressed, propose pausing; follow up; if the issue blocks progress again, raise it again and review the coaching agreement.
Handling reluctance (ICF): normalise mental-health care, frame help-seeking as strength, use the analogy that heart palpitations need a cardiologist, not a dermatologist; expect to raise it more than once.
Example language (illustrative): "I've noticed over the last three sessions that you've been sleeping badly and you've stopped seeing friends. I care about how you're doing, and I think this is something a therapist could help with more than I can as your coach. How does that land?"
Watch for: [synthesis] as a therapist you may be tempted to "just do a bit of therapy" within coaching. Do not: you have contracted for coaching, and switching roles without a new, explicit clinical contract (and your regulator's rules on dual relationships) is a boundary breach. Refer to a colleague rather than to yourself unless your professional body permits and you re-contract formally.

4.29 Emergency response

Purpose / when: imminent risk of harm to self or others. [source: ICF referral guide]
Steps (ICF, paraphrased): (1) Call local emergency services if danger is imminent. (2) Stay with the person (or on the line) until help arrives. (3) Ask whether they have means of harm to hand and ask them to give these to someone for safekeeping; agree who can be notified. (4) Listen without judging, arguing or threatening. (5) For suicidal thoughts, connect them with a crisis line (the guide points to Befrienders Worldwide and the International Association for Suicide Prevention directories). (6) Share information only as needed to prevent serious harm, consistent with the confidentiality limits agreed in 4.1.
Example language (illustrative): "I'm taking what you've said seriously. Are you safe right now? Is there anything nearby you could use to hurt yourself? Can we get it out of reach together?"
Watch for: [synthesis] a clinician-coach should follow their own professional standard of risk assessment and safety planning here; the coaching frame is suspended.

4.30 Ending the engagement

Purpose / when: goals met, agreed duration reached, coachee chooses to end, or another service is more appropriate. [source: ICF 3.11; Global Code "Ending professional relationships"]
Steps: (1) Review progress against the original goals and success measures. (2) Ask what they learned and how they will sustain it alone. (3) Acknowledge the work (4.23). (4) If ending for referral, make the referral concrete (4.28). (5) Agree whether any later contact is possible.
Example language (illustrative): "When you think back to the first session, what's different now? How will you keep coaching yourself?"
Watch for: extending engagements to meet the coach's needs (financial or emotional); the Global Code requires promoting independence.

4.31 Coach self-management, preparation and supervision

Purpose / when: before and during every session; regularly between. [source: ICF 2.3, 2.5–2.8; Mind Tools on Co-Active self-management; Global Code supervision]
Steps: (1) Before the session, clear distractions and prepare mentally and emotionally. (2) During it, notice when your opinions or feelings intrude and set them aside until afterwards, without avoiding difficult truths. (3) After it, reflect on your practice. (4) Take cases to supervision, especially ones where referral indicators or coach-side indicators appear.
Example language (to yourself, illustrative): "Whose agenda am I serving right now?"
Watch for: rescuing, advising, or diagnosing in your head; these are cues to supervision.

5. Handling problems

The coaching sources cited say little about problem handling apart from referral (ICF guide) and the Global Code. Items without a source tag are my own [synthesis].

The coaching–psychotherapy boundary, as the bodies publish it

ICF: coaching focuses on vision, success, the present and the future; therapy on psychopathology, emotions and the past as a way to understand the present. Coaching aims at performance, learning or development; therapy often at deep-seated emotional issues, healing or trauma recovery. Coaching serves generally well-functioning people; therapy serves people with some level of dysfunction or disorder. Coaches do not diagnose or treat; they may form an observational view and refer. The guide's analogy: athletic trainer versus sports-medicine doctor. ICF Competency 1.6–1.7: keep coaching distinct from psychotherapy and refer when needed. [source: ICF referral guide; ICF Core Competencies]
EMCC and AC (shared Global Code of Ethics): members respect boundaries because the work "is not counselling, psychotherapy or medical intervention"; they operate within their competence, refer to someone better qualified where appropriate, and encourage ending where a different form of professional help would serve better. The AC page notes the code was adapted from a joint body of work by professional coaching bodies. [source: Global Code (EMCC, Dec 2025 version); AC Code of Ethics page]
Model authors: Co-Active treats people as whole and resourceful and works with emotion in its Process strand, but the pages cited give no explicit boundary statement from Whitworth or the Kimsey-Houses [uncertain]. Whitmore's GROW, as presented, is framed around goals and action; no boundary statement cited [uncertain]. Grant called coaching "a socially acceptable form of therapy" in interview, and his doctoral work studied coaching's effect on mental health; his published screening guidance is not drawn on here [uncertain].

Concrete signs a coachee needs referral to clinical care

Use the ICF indicator list in 4.28. Additional signs from clinical practice [synthesis]: any suicidal thoughts, self-harm, or thoughts of harming others; panic attacks or avoidance that are shrinking their life; flashbacks, nightmares, startle or dissociation; drinking or drug use they describe as out of control or that affects work or relationships; restriction, bingeing or purging; manic features (very little sleep without tiredness, racing ideas, risky spending); new or worsening psychotic experiences; ongoing abuse or coercive control at home (also a safeguarding issue); grief that is not easing and is disabling; a coachee who repeatedly asks you to help them "understand why" they are as they are rather than what to do next.

Stuck coachee (no movement over several sessions)

Return to Goal: is it still theirs, still inspiring (4.4)? [source: Performance Consultants, revisit goal]
Use the 1–10 commitment scale and ask what would make it a 10; shrink the action until it is (4.7). [source: Performance Consultants]
Check the values link (4.16) and whether a self-defeating voice is operating (4.18).
Offer an observation without attachment: "We keep arriving here. What do you notice?" (4.13).
If stuckness reflects an underlying psychological barrier, past trauma or repetitive victim narrative, this is an ICF referral indicator (4.28). [source: ICF referral guide]

"Yes, but" and resistance

Stop generating options yourself; resistance often means the coach is ahead of the coachee.
Name it lightly and hand back the choice: "It sounds like none of these fit. What would?"
Check the agreement: is this their agenda or a sponsor's or family member's? (ICF 3.2, 3.10).
Explore what the current situation gives them before pushing for change.

Non-completion of actions

Treat it as learning, not failure (4.24): "What got in the way? What does that tell you?" [source: Mind Tools summary of Whitworth et al., accountability without blame]
Ask whether the action was really theirs and really at commitment 10 (4.7).
Add a structure (4.21) or reduce the step.
Revisit the designed alliance about how they want missed actions handled (4.1).
Persistent non-completion with low energy, poor sleep or withdrawal: consider depression and refer (4.28).

Overwhelm, tearfulness or dissociation in session

Slow down; name what you see; offer a pause. Steadiness in strong emotion is an ICF presence marker (5.4). [source: ICF]
If the coachee becomes flooded, spaced out, or loses track of the present: switch from process work (4.22) to simple grounding (feet on floor, describe the room, slow breathing, orient to date and place), then check they are safe to end the session.
Do not explore trauma memories in coaching. Afterwards, raise the referral conversation (4.28).
If you are a trauma-trained therapist, still do not switch frames mid-session; pause coaching and contract separately or refer.

Ruptures (coachee feels judged, pushed or misunderstood)

Name the moment and ask about it directly; acknowledge your part without over-apologising.
Revisit the designed alliance: what do they need from you to keep going? (4.1)
Check whether challenge was used without permission or when they were depleted (4.14).
Discuss in supervision (4.31). [source: Global Code supervision]

Dependency

Coach-side signs in the ICF guide (you feel responsible for them, they are overly dependent) are referral indicators in themselves. [source: ICF referral guide]
Build self-coaching: have them run their own GROW between sessions; space sessions out; plan the ending early. The Global Code requires promoting independence. [source: Global Code]

Coachee declines referral

Respect the decision unless there is risk of harm to self or others; keep the door open; raise it again if the issue recurs; review whether coaching can continue or should pause. [source: ICF referral guide]
Document your concern and your conversation [synthesis].

Coachee is already in therapy

Ask whether their therapist knows about the coaching and agrees; clarify roles so the two do not overlap (coaching on forward action, therapy on the clinical issue). A therapist may need a signed release before speaking with you. [source: ICF referral guide (release); rest synthesis]

Third-party sponsors (family member, employer pays)

Agree up front what, if anything, is reported, and that the coachee owns the content (ICF 3.3; Global Code confidentiality). [source: ICF; Global Code]

Psychotherapist-specific difficulties

Pull toward the past: keep Reality questions about the present; past material is explored only enough to free current action.
Pull toward formulation: do not diagnose or label; your clinical knowledge informs when you refer, not what you treat.
Marketing and titles: be clear in your materials whether you are offering coaching or therapy; follow your licensing body's rules on offering non-clinical services, insurance and record keeping. [uncertain: rules vary by jurisdiction]
Former or current therapy clients: avoid converting them into coaching clients without careful ethical review; consult your regulator and supervisor.

Sources

Sources: