GROW coaching model

1. Introduction

Version followed: Whitmore's Goal – Reality – Options – Will sequence, as set out in Coaching for Performance (1992; 5th ed. 2017) and described today by Performance Consultants, the firm Whitmore co-founded. Variants are noted where they differ: Alexander's "Wrap-up/Way forward", the "Way forward" W used by Fine, Grant's REGROW, and TGROW. Whitmore's book and Alexander's chapter are not drawn on directly. Stage content comes from Performance Consultants' own GROW page plus secondary summaries of the book, and is tagged as such. [source: Performance Consultants GROW page; Wikipedia GROW model; Coaching for Performance book summary]

What it is. GROW is a structure for a coaching conversation, not a psychotherapy. It is a four-stage questioning sequence for helping a well-functioning person reach a goal, solve a problem or make a decision. It came out of UK sports and business coaching in the 1980s. Alan Fine names Whitmore, Graham Alexander and himself as co-creators, working together in the early 1980s under the influence of Timothy Gallwey's Inner Game. Whitmore said Max Landsberg coined the acronym. Whitmore first published it in 1992. Each of the three later built his own version. [source: Fine, theinnergame.com; Wikipedia GROW model] Performance Consultants says GROW™ is protected intellectual property and that commercial use of the original model needs a licence from them. [source: Performance Consultants GROW page]

How change happens (the authors' claim). Whitmore calls awareness and responsibility "the foundation stones of coaching". Questions that raise the coachee's awareness of their goal and current reality lead the coachee to take responsibility for choices they made themselves. Self-chosen action drives motivation and lasting behaviour change. Responsibility cannot be handed over by telling someone they are responsible. Each piece of advice from the coach reduces it. [source: Performance Consultants Coaching for Performance page; book summary] This idea comes from Gallwey: tennis players changed more when the coach asked what they noticed than when he told them what to do. [source: Wikipedia GROW model, summarising Gallwey]

Note for psychotherapists. GROW is a coaching framework. ICF, EMCC and AC all state that coaching is not counselling, psychotherapy or medical treatment, and that coaches do not diagnose. If you use GROW as a coach, contract explicitly for coaching. If you borrow GROW's structure inside therapy for goal-focused segments, that is a derived use [synthesis]. [source: ICF Referring a Client to Therapy; Global Code of Ethics]

2. Framework

Stages and their goals [source: Performance Consultants GROW page; book summary; Elan Coaching GROW handout]

Sequence and flexibility. The stages come in order, but the conversation moves back and forth as new insight emerges. Performance Consultants lists rigid sequencing as a common mistake. The Elan handout advises checking now and then that each stage has been covered. [source: Performance Consultants GROW page; Elan Coaching GROW handout]

Session count and format. No source fixes a number of sessions. Performance Consultants says even five minutes of structured GROW questioning is useful. They list one-to-one coaching, performance and career conversations, team coaching, problem-solving and self-coaching as formats. [source: Performance Consultants GROW page; book summary] A multi-session engagement usually runs one full GROW cycle per session. Grant's REGROW opens each later session by reviewing and evaluating the actions from last time before re-entering GROW. [source: Chartered College REGROW case study, citing Grant 2011 — Grant's paper itself is not drawn on, [uncertain] on its detail] The following practical defaults are [synthesis], not from the sources:

• one-to-one sessions of 45–60 minutes, every 2–4 weeks;
• an engagement of 4–8 sessions, agreed in the contract and reviewed midway;
• a three-way contracting meeting first when an organisation sponsors the coaching.

Variants (name the one you use with clients) [source: Wikipedia GROW model, which lists published variants]

• Whitmore: Goal, Reality, Options, Will. The 4th edition expands W to what, when, by whom and the will to do it.
• Alexander (2010): Goal, Reality, Options, Wrap-up/Way forward, published as "behavioural coaching". His latest chapter, with Lanza Tans, is "Coaching with the GROW model" in Excellence in Coaching (4th ed.) [known only from the abstract; [uncertain] on content].
• Fine & Merrill (2010): Goal, Reality, Options, Way forward.
• Some versions read the O as Obstacles and Options.
• REGROW (Grant 2011) adds Review and Evaluate at the start of each later session.
• TGROW adds a step before Goal. Performance Consultants names TGROW, OSKAR and CLEAR as alternatives. That T stands for "Topic" is my understanding; It is not confirmed in a source [uncertain].

3. Guiding principles

[source: Performance Consultants pages; Coaching for Performance book summary; Elan handout; ICF referral guidelines; Global Code of Ethics]

• Awareness first. Ask questions so the coachee notices more, not to collect information for yourself. Practical meaning: a good question makes the coachee pause and think. Whitmore read that pause as a sign that awareness was rising.
• Responsibility stays with the coachee. Every suggestion reduces ownership. Practical meaning: give your own ideas only after the coachee has run out of options, and offer them as one more item on their list.
• Coach as facilitator, not expert. The coach is a sounding board and raiser of awareness, not a problem-solver or source of answers. Practical meaning: no diagnosing and no instructing. Keep your expertise in reserve.
• Believe in potential. Look at the person in terms of their potential, not their current performance. Practical meaning: phrase questions on the assumption that the coachee can find workable answers.
• Goal before reality. Practical meaning: even when the coachee arrives full of the problem, briefly agree what they want from the session before going deep into the problem story.
• Descriptive, not judgemental. Ask for detail and facts, not evaluations. Practical meaning: use what, when, who and how much. Avoid "why", which invites defensiveness. Ask for "the reasons" or "the steps" instead of "why" or "how".
• Follow the coachee's interest and notice avoidance. Practical meaning: go with the thread the coachee opens, and gently name topics they seem to steer around.
• GROW is a structure, not a script. Whitmore warned that "any dictator can use GROW". Without the coaching stance, the sequence becomes a disguised way of telling. Practical meaning: if you already know the answer you want the coachee to reach, you are not coaching. Say so or stop.
• Flexible order. Practical meaning: loop back, for example from Reality to Goal when facts change what is wanted. Check before closing that every stage has been covered.
• Commitment over compliance. Practical meaning: a scaled commitment below about 7–8 [synthesis on the threshold] means the plan needs changing, not pushing.
• Clear contract and scope. Explain the nature and terms of coaching, confidentiality and its limits, and state that coaching is not therapy and that you may suggest other professional help. Practical meaning: put it in writing at the start. Do not wait until you need it.
• Work within competence; refer when another kind of help would serve better. Practical meaning: watch for the referral signs in Section 5 at every session, not only when the coachee raises them.
• Confidentiality with stated limits. The limits are illegality and danger to self or others. Practical meaning: agree these limits with the coachee, and with the sponsor in organisational coaching, before any content is discussed.
• Supervision. EMCC and AC members are expected to take supervision or peer supervision and keep evidence of reflective practice. Practical meaning: take dependency, boundary and referral dilemmas to supervision.

4. Intervention inventory

GROW has no technique set beyond its stage questions. The items below are what the sources describe:

• the stage-specific question sets and tools;
• the contracting and referral procedures that the coaching bodies require around any GROW engagement.

All therapist wording is illustrative unless it is in quotation marks with a citation.

4.1 Contracting and scope statement (before session 1)

• Purpose / when: At the start of every engagement, and again in a three-way meeting if an organisation is paying. It sets out what coaching is and is not, confidentiality and its limits, fees and logistics, and how referral will be handled. [source: ICF Referring a Client to Therapy; Global Code of Ethics 2.1–2.2 and Confidentiality]
• Steps:
  1. Explain coaching as a partnership focused on the coachee's goals, the present and the future. Contrast it with therapy, which addresses psychopathology, healing and the past.
  2. Give a written scope statement: coaching is not therapy, and you may suggest other professional help if it becomes appropriate.
  3. State the limits of confidentiality: illegality and danger to self or others. Get agreement to these limits.
  4. Tell the coachee that you receive supervision and that supervision is confidential.
  5. With a sponsor, agree what will and will not be reported back to them.
  6. Agree the number and length of sessions and how either party can end the engagement.
  7. Keep a list of local mental health professionals on file.
• Example language (illustrative): "This is coaching, so we'll focus on where you want to get to and what you'll do next. It isn't therapy. If something comes up that another kind of help would serve better, I'll tell you and help you find it."
• Watch for: a coachee whose stated reason for coming is clinical (for example "I want to stop feeling depressed"). Address that before you start GROW. A sponsor who expects a report on content is another warning sign.

4.2 Session goal (G)

• Purpose / when: At the opening of every session. It agrees what the coachee wants from this conversation, and separately the longer-term aim. [source: Elan Coaching GROW handout; Performance Consultants GROW page]
• Steps:
  1. Ask what the coachee wants to have by the end of the session.
  2. Ask about the longer-term goal this serves.
  3. Ask for an observable marker of success.
  4. Ask why it matters now (Performance Consultants includes this question, unlike Whitmore's general "avoid why").
  5. Read the goal back in the coachee's words and confirm it.
• Example language: Performance Consultants lists "What would you like to achieve?", "What will success look like?" and "How will you know when you've achieved it?" Illustrative: "In the next 50 minutes, what would make this time well spent for you?"
• Watch for: a goal phrased as a problem ("stop being so disorganised"), as someone else's change ("get my boss to…"), or as vague. Ask what they would be doing instead and what is within their control. It is working when the coachee can describe the end state concretely.

4.3 End goal and performance goal

• Purpose / when: When the coachee's goal depends on things outside their control, such as winning a promotion or a contract. [source: Coaching for Performance book summary]
• Steps:
  1. Name the end goal, the final objective, which is rarely fully in their control.
  2. Ask what level of their own performance would give a good chance of reaching it. That is the performance goal, which is largely in their control.
  3. Make the performance goal the working focus of the session, and keep the end goal as the motivator.
• Example language (illustrative): "The promotion decision isn't yours. What would you need to be delivering, and by when, to give yourself the best chance?"
• Watch for: the coachee measuring progress only by the end goal and losing heart. It is working when they can say what they control. Other goal types (for example process or dream goals) appear in some summaries of later editions. They are not drawn on here [uncertain]; do not attribute them without checking the 5th edition.

4.4 Goal-quality checks: SMART, PURE, CLEAR

• Purpose / when: After a goal is stated, to check it is workable and ethical. The criteria below are from a GROW handout presented as following Whitmore; They are not verified against his book [uncertain on attribution]. [source: Elan Coaching GROW handout]
• Steps: Check the goal against each set:
  • SMART: specific, measurable, agreed, realistic, time-phased.
  • PURE: positively stated, understood, relevant, ethical.
  • CLEAR: challenging, legal, environmentally sound, appropriate, recorded.
  • Turn each weak criterion into a question and do not rewrite the goal for the coachee. Record the final goal.
• Example language (illustrative): "If you put that in positive terms, what would you be doing?" "How would someone else be able to see you'd done it?"
• Watch for: over-engineering a goal that is still emerging. For developmental or exploratory topics, a provisional goal is enough. Passmore and Cantore note that goal-directed GROW fits less well with exploratory, career or life questions. [source: Wikipedia GROW model, citing Passmore & Cantore 2012]

4.5 Well-formed outcome check (eight steps)

• Purpose / when: For an important or longer-term goal, to test fit, ecology and motivation. This tool is adapted from Cranwell-Ward, Bossons and Gover's Henley mentoring review, not from Whitmore. [source: Elan Coaching GROW handout]
• Steps: Ask, in your own words:
  1. What is wanted, stated positively?
  2. What will be the evidence of success?
  3. Can the coachee start and keep it going themselves, and what is the first step?
  4. Which of their existing behaviours already work towards it?
  5. Where, when and with whom will it happen?
  6. What does it cost and gain, and what might be lost?
  7. Is it worth the time?
  8. Does it fit their purpose and sense of who they are?
• Example language (illustrative): "If you got this, what might you lose that matters to you?"
• Watch for: step 6 or 8 turning up strong ambivalence or loss. Explore it in Reality before planning. It is working when the coachee either recommits or revises the goal.

4.6 Reality exploration (R)

• Purpose / when: After the goal is agreed. It builds a clear, high-resolution, descriptive picture of the present, including action already taken and its effects. [source: Coaching for Performance book summary; Performance Consultants GROW page; Elan handout]
• Steps:
  1. Ask what is happening now, in concrete detail: who, what, when, how much, how often.
  2. Ask what they have already done and what effect it had. If nothing, ask what stopped them.
  3. Ask what is already working, and what strengths and resources they have.
  4. Ask about constraints and the evidence for them.
  5. Ask about feelings: what emotion is strongest, and what they fear.
  6. Ask what assumptions they might be holding.
  7. Summarise the gap between Reality and Goal.
  8. Use descriptive, not evaluative, language throughout.
• Example language: Performance Consultants lists "What is happening right now?", "What is working well already?" and "What evidence do you have?" Illustrative: "Walk me through the last time this happened, step by step."
• Watch for: two drifts. One is the coach collecting history out of curiosity; Whitmore says the coach needs to be sure the coachee is clear, not to know everything. The other is the conversation sliding into repetitive past grievance (see referral signs, 5.10). It is working when the coachee says something like "I hadn't seen it that way", or redefines the goal.

4.7 Baseline by observation

• Purpose / when: When the goal is a measurable skill or behaviour. It grounds Reality in an observed baseline rather than impressions. This comes from Gallwey's tennis example: a player chooses how many of ten serves to land (Goal), then serves ten to set the baseline (Reality). [source: Wikipedia GROW model, summarising Gallwey]
• Steps:
  1. Agree what to observe or count.
  2. The coachee observes or counts it before the next session (or does it in the session if possible).
  3. Ask what they noticed when it went well and when it did not.
• Example language (illustrative): "This week, just notice and note each time it happens. No need to change anything yet."
• Watch for: self-criticism replacing observation. Keep the questions to "what did you notice?". Applying this beyond sport and skill is [synthesis].

4.8 Question craft (all stages)

• Purpose / when: Throughout the session; this is the main tool. [source: Coaching for Performance book summary]
• Steps:
  1. Use open questions that start with what, when, who or how much.
  2. Ask for detail and description.
  3. Replace "why" with a question about reasons, and "how" with a question about steps.
  4. Do not lead.
  5. Follow the coachee's train of thought.
  6. Gently point out what they seem to avoid.
  7. Let pauses happen.
• Example language (illustrative): Instead of "Why didn't you raise it?", ask "What were the reasons it didn't get raised?"
• Watch for: questions that are advice in disguise ("Have you thought about…?"). Notice when you are doing most of the talking.

4.9 Scaling (confidence and commitment, 1–10)

• Purpose / when: In Reality, to rate confidence about the issue. In Will, to rate commitment to the plan. [source: Elan handout; Performance Consultants GROW page]
• Steps:
  1. Ask for a 1–10 rating.
  2. Ask what keeps it from being a 10.
  3. Ask what would make it a 10, or one point higher.
  4. If commitment is low, go back to Options or adjust the action, rather than pressing for a higher number.
• Example language: Performance Consultants lists "How committed are you on a scale of 1–10?" Illustrative: "What would have to change for that 6 to become an 8?"
• Watch for: ratings given to please you. Ask what the number means to them. It is working when the coachee changes the plan themselves to make it more doable.

4.10 Options generation (O, divergent phase)

• Purpose / when: Once the gap is clear. The aim is the widest possible list of possible actions, before judging any of them. [source: Coaching for Performance book summary; Performance Consultants GROW page; Elan handout]
• Steps:
  1. Ask for every option, without evaluating.
  2. Write the options down.
  3. Keep asking "what else?" until the coachee runs dry.
  4. Remove barriers with what-if questions: more time or money, the obstacle gone, "if you knew the answer".
  5. Ask who or what could support them.
  6. Name and test false assumptions.
  7. Only once the coachee has exhausted their ideas, ask permission to add one of yours, and add it to their list as one more option.
• Example language: Performance Consultants lists "What else might work?" and "What would you try if resources or obstacles were not an issue?" Illustrative: "Suppose a colleague you admire faced this. What might they try?"
• Watch for: two signals. "I don't know" or "it can't be done" usually points to a limiting belief to explore (Elan). The coachee evaluating each idea as it comes is the other; park the evaluation. It is working when unusual options appear late in the list.

4.11 Options evaluation (O, convergent phase)

• Purpose / when: After the list is complete, to weigh it. [source: Performance Consultants GROW page]
• Steps:
  1. For each promising option, ask about the advantages and disadvantages.
  2. Ask which options could be combined.
  3. Ask which one they will commit to.
• Example language: Performance Consultants lists "What are the advantages or disadvantages of each option?" and "Which option will you commit to?"
• Watch for: the coachee choosing the option they think you prefer. Watch your own non-verbal reactions to each option.

4.12 Will / Way forward action plan (W)

• Purpose / when: At the end of every session. It turns the discussion into a decision and activates the coachee's will rather than imposing yours. [source: Coaching for Performance book summary; Elan handout; Performance Consultants GROW page; Whitmore 4th ed. as cited in Wikipedia]
• Steps: Ask in turn:
  1. What will you do, and when will you do it?
  2. Will this action meet your goal?
  3. What obstacles do you expect?
  4. Who needs to know?
  5. What support do you need, and how will you get it?
  6. How will you be accountable?
  7. Rate your commitment (4.9).
  8. Have the coachee summarise the plan in their own words, and agree when you will review it.
• Example language: Performance Consultants lists "What will you do first?" and "When will you start?" Illustrative: "Read me back what you've committed to, with the dates."
• Watch for: plans made of intentions with no dates ("I'll try to…"). Elan warns that without real commitment you may find nothing has happened by the next meeting. It is working when actions are specific and the coachee owns the wording.

4.13 Obstacle anticipation

• Purpose / when: Inside Will, for any action likely to meet internal or external obstacles. [source: Performance Consultants GROW page; Elan handout]
• Steps:
  1. Ask what might get in the way.
  2. For each obstacle, ask how they will respond.
  3. Build the response into the plan.
• Example language: Performance Consultants lists "What might get in the way, and how will you respond?"
• Watch for: an obstacle the coachee repeatedly cannot plan around. It may need its own GROW cycle, or it may be a sign for referral (5.10). Writing responses as if-then plans links to Oettingen's WOOP, a later and similar model [synthesis; source: Wikipedia GROW model].

4.14 Review and evaluate (REGROW opening)

• Purpose / when: At the start of the second and later sessions. Reflection on progress builds recognition of strengths, motivation and a sense of agency. [source: Chartered College REGROW case study, citing Grant 2011 and Whitmore; [uncertain]: Grant's paper]
• Steps:
  1. Review what was done since last time and what happened.
  2. Evaluate what was learned and what worked.
  3. Ask what this means for the goal: keep it, refine it or replace it.
  4. Re-enter GROW.
  5. At the end of the engagement, evaluate overall progress against the original goal.
• Example language (illustrative): "What did you do with what you decided last time, and what did you learn from it?"
• Watch for: shame about actions not done. Treat it as Reality data, not failure (see 5.4).

4.15 Topic step (TGROW variant)

• Purpose / when: When the coachee arrives with a broad area of concern rather than a goal. It explores the territory before fixing the session goal. [uncertain: Performance Consultants names TGROW, without a primary source for it; the definition here is a synthesis]
• Steps:
  1. Ask what they want to talk about.
  2. Ask about its scope and why it matters.
  3. Narrow to the part they want to work on today.
  4. Move into G.
• Example language (illustrative): "Of everything going on with the move, which part do you want to take on today?"
• Watch for: the topic stage turning into open-ended exploration. Set a time limit.

4.16 GROW for self-coaching and team coaching

• Purpose / when: Between sessions, and with groups. Whitmore applies the same process to teams and to self-coaching. [source: Coaching for Performance book summary; Performance Consultants GROW page]
• Steps:
  1. Self-coaching: the coachee writes their own answers to the four stage questions before a decision.
  2. Teams: agree a shared goal, collect each member's view of reality, generate options together without judging, and agree who does what by when.
• Example language (illustrative): "Before our next session, run one decision through the four questions on paper and bring it."
• Watch for: louder team members dominating Options [synthesis]. Collect ideas in silence first.

4.17 GROW feedback framework

• Purpose / when: In manager–report performance conversations. Performance Consultants says the 5th edition reworked the Will chapter to include a GROW-based approach to feedback. [source: Performance Consultants Coaching for Performance page; content is [uncertain]]
• Steps: The specific steps are [uncertain]. A plausible use is to replace telling with questions that ask the person to describe what happened, what went well and what they would do differently [synthesis].
• Watch for: this belongs in organisations. A psychotherapist working as an external coach rarely needs it.

4.18 Referral conversation

• Purpose / when: When the signs in 5.10 cluster, or the coachee is not progressing and an underlying issue seems likely. [source: ICF Referring a Client to Therapy]
• Steps:
  1. Choose a private, unhurried time.
  2. Open with care and concern.
  3. Name specific observed behaviours or changes, without diagnosing.
  4. Ask open questions and listen. Allow silence.
  5. Ask how they feel about the suggestion.
  6. Restate your care.
  7. Give concrete referral options and their likely benefit.
  8. Address stigma, cost, past bad experiences and cultural beliefs. Frame seeking help as strength.
  9. Offer that they book from your office if you meet in person.
  10. Check the coaching agreement and decide together whether coaching continues alongside therapy or pauses.
  11. Follow up later. The coachee decides what to share about therapy.
• Example language (illustrative): "Over the last three sessions you've mentioned sleeping badly, and today you said nothing feels worth it. I care about how you're doing, and I think a therapist or your doctor could help with that in ways coaching can't. How does that sound to you?"
• Watch for: the coachee declining. Respect the decision unless there is risk to self or others. Say they can come back to the idea, and raise it again if it blocks progress. It is working when the coachee takes a concrete step, such as booking an appointment or seeing their GP.

4.19 Emergency response (risk to self or others)

• Purpose / when: When there is imminent danger to the coachee or someone else. Safety overrides confidentiality. [source: ICF Referring a Client to Therapy; Global Code of Ethics, Confidentiality]
• Steps:
  1. If danger is imminent, call emergency services and stay with the person.
  2. If the danger is unclear, consult a clinician.
  3. Ask about access to means and arrange for them to be handed to someone for safekeeping.
  4. Agree who can be told, and follow up.
  5. Give crisis-line details (ICF lists Befrienders Worldwide and IASP).
  6. Listen without arguing or judging.
  7. A psychotherapist acting as coach should also follow the risk-assessment standards of their own clinical licence, and document [synthesis].
• Watch for: delaying in order to finish the session plan. Abandon GROW entirely.

5. Handling problems

5.1 Vague or problem-framed goals. [source: Performance Consultants GROW page] Performance Consultants lists vague goals as a common mistake. Response:

• Ask what they would be doing instead, what they control, and what evidence would show success.
• Use end vs performance goal (4.3) and the goal checks (4.4).
• If no goal emerges after several attempts, agree an exploratory session goal, such as "get clearer about what I want" [synthesis].

5.2 Coach jumps to solutions, or GROW used as disguised telling. Rushing to solutions and leading the coachee are both named mistakes, and Whitmore warned that the sequence alone can serve a dictator. [source: Performance Consultants GROW page] Response:

• Hold back your ideas until the coachee has exhausted theirs, then offer them as options and ask permission.
• Check yourself: if you are steering towards one answer, name it openly and let the coachee accept or reject it.

5.3 Rigid sequencing. [source: Performance Consultants GROW page; Elan handout] Response:

• Follow the material, not the acronym. When Reality changes what is wanted, return to Goal.
• Before closing, check that each stage has been covered.

5.4 "Nothing happened" (non-adherence between sessions). Elan warns that without genuine commitment nothing may have happened by the next meeting. [source: Elan handout] Response:

• Open the next session with a non-blaming review (4.14).
• Treat non-action as Reality data: what got in the way, and what does that show about the goal or plan?
• Re-scale commitment, and shrink the next step until commitment is 8 or higher [synthesis on threshold].
• If it repeats, ask whether the goal is really theirs or imposed by a sponsor [synthesis].

5.5 "I don't know" / "It can't be done" (resistance in Options). The Elan handout reads these responses as signs of limiting beliefs. [source: Elan handout; book summary] Response:

• Ask what-if questions: if you did know, if the obstacle were gone, if you had more time or budget.
• Name the assumption and ask for evidence for and against it.
• If the belief is pervasive, rigid and tied to low mood or anxiety across many areas of life, consider the referral signs in 5.10 [synthesis].

5.6 Coachee keeps returning to the past. In ICF's referral guidance, repeatedly returning to a past incident, describing oneself as a victim, or ongoing effects of trauma are signs that therapy may be needed. [source: ICF Referring a Client to Therapy] Response:

• Acknowledge it, then ask what they want now (Goal before Reality).
• If the pull to the past persists across sessions, use the referral conversation (4.18).
• Do not process trauma memories inside a coaching contract, even if you are trained to [synthesis].

5.7 Emotional overwhelm in session. [synthesis, except where marked] Coaching sources give no specific procedure. Response:

• Pause the GROW structure and slow down.
• Acknowledge and normalise the feeling. Ask what they need right now.
• Offer a break, or simple orienting to the room.
• Do not push on to Options or Will.
• At the end, check how they are leaving and what support they have.
• Review afterwards against the referral signs, and take it to supervision (Global Code, Supervision). [source for supervision only]

5.8 Rupture or loss of trust. [synthesis] The book summary stresses that the coach should feel like support, not threat, in a relationship of partnership, trust and safety. [source: book summary] Response:

• Name the shift ("Something changed when I asked about your manager. What happened for you?").
• Own any part you played, for example leading, judging or pushing.
• Ask what would make the conversation more useful. Re-contract if needed.
• In sponsored coaching, check whether the coachee fears what will be reported. Restate the confidentiality agreement.

5.9 Dependency and coach over-responsibility. ICF lists these coach-side signals:

• feeling responsible for the coachee, or pressured to solve their problems;
• feeling stressed or anxious before their sessions, or feeling you have failed them;
• a coachee who is overly dependent on you. [source: ICF Referring a Client to Therapy] The Global Code asks members to promote client independence and to end an engagement if another form of help would serve better. [source: Global Code 2.5, Ending professional relationships] Response:
• Take it to supervision.
• Return responsibility with questions.
• Review the contract length.
• Consider referral.

5.10 Signs a coachee needs referral to clinical care. The concrete indicators below are paraphrased from ICF's guidelines (Hullinger & DiGirolamo, 2018). Coaches use them to recognise a problem, not to diagnose. The overarching test is whether the issue interferes with daily functioning, judged by how long it lasts, how often it occurs and how intense it is. One sign alone is not conclusive; several together make referral more likely. [source: ICF Referring a Client to Therapy]

• No progress after a reasonable period, possibly because of an underlying issue.
• General distress:
  • marked changes in mood (irritability, anger, anxiety, sadness);
  • falling work performance;
  • social withdrawal;
  • neglect of appearance or hygiene;
  • weight change;
  • sleep disturbance.
• Anxiety:
  • excessive worry most days over months;
  • restlessness, fatigue, poor concentration, irritability;
  • physical tension, trembling or racing heart.
• Depression:
  • sadness, emptiness, hopelessness or loss of interest lasting more than two weeks and disrupting life;
  • changes in sleep and weight;
  • worthlessness or excessive guilt;
  • recurrent thoughts of death.
  • Grief is normal unless it becomes overwhelming or blocks thinking about the present and future.
• Eating difficulties:
  • persistent disordered eating with distress;
  • preoccupation with food;
  • cutting out food groups or organising life around diet without medical reason.
• Trauma: at least a month of:
  • intrusive memories, nightmares or flashbacks;
  • avoidance of reminders;
  • negative beliefs, detachment or memory gaps;
  • hypervigilance, irritability or sleep problems.
• Substance problems:
  • growing tolerance;
  • needing the substance through the day;
  • failing obligations;
  • hiding use;
  • withdrawal symptoms;
  • binges;
  • feeling unable to stop.
• Suicide risk:
  • talk of hopelessness or no reason to live;
  • putting affairs in order or giving away possessions;
  • seeking means of self-harm;
  • reckless behaviour or heavier substance use;
  • withdrawal, agitation, rage or talk of revenge.
  • Any of these calls for immediate risk assessment and the emergency steps (4.19).
• Thought disorder:
  • paranoia, delusions or hallucinations;
  • incoherent or rapidly shifting speech;
  • inability to follow logic;
  • a belief that thoughts are being removed.

The coaching–psychotherapy boundary, as the bodies publish it.

• ICF: coaching partners with well-functioning clients on vision, success, the present and the future, usually for performance, learning or development. Therapy addresses psychopathology, emotional healing, trauma recovery and the past. A coach neither diagnoses nor treats. ICF's analogy is the athletic trainer who refers to the team doctor. [source: ICF Referring a Client to Therapy]
• EMCC and AC (Global Code of Ethics): coaching "is not counselling, psychotherapy or medical intervention". Members work within the limits of their competence, refer to suitably qualified practitioners where appropriate, and encourage ending the engagement when another form of professional help would serve the client better. [source: Global Code of Ethics v4; AC Code page]
• GROW's authors: Whitmore frames coaching as performance-focused and does not treat clinical problems. Performance Consultants recommends GROW where someone has a challenge, goal or decision to explore. [source: Performance Consultants GROW page] No explicit statement on the therapy boundary from Whitmore or Alexander appears in the sources [uncertain].

5.11 Concurrent therapy, or the coachee declines referral. [source: ICF Referring a Client to Therapy]

• Coaching can continue alongside therapy if the coachee is functioning and progressing.
• If they cannot benefit from coaching until the clinical issue is addressed, propose pausing coaching.
• If they decline referral, respect that unless there is risk. Revisit if the issue blocks progress again, and reassess whether coaching can continue.
• With the coachee's consent, liaise with their therapist. Therapists may need a signed release.

5.12 Psychotherapist-specific difficulties. [synthesis; conflict-of-interest principle from the Global Code]

• Role drift: you may slip into formulation or treatment because you can. Contract clearly which role you hold. If clinical work is needed, refer to another clinician rather than switching the same relationship into therapy.
• Existing therapy clients: do not convert a current therapy client into a coaching client, or the reverse, without separate contracting and supervisory consultation. This is a conflict of interest and a dual relationship.
• Goal work inside therapy: if you use GROW within therapy, it is a structured goal-setting segment under your therapy contract and licence, not coaching.
• Sponsored coaching: keep the organisation's goals and the coachee's goals separate. Revisit the three-way agreement if they conflict.

Sources

Sources:

• GROW Model – Performance Consultants
• Coaching for Performance – Performance Consultants
• Alan Fine: Developing the GROW model – InsideOut / The Inner Game
• GROW model – Wikipedia (history, variants and reference list)
• [Coaching for Performance – book summary (T. Grant)](https://sustainabilityadvantage.com/documents/Coaching For Performance - Book Summary.pdf) (secondary summary of Whitmore's book)
• GROW Model – Elan Coaching handout, University of Southampton
• Coaching with the GROW model (Alexander & Lanza Tans), Excellence in Coaching 4th ed. – O'Reilly preview (opening paragraph only)
• Behavioural coaching: the GROW model (Leach 2021) – University of Reading record (metadata only)
• Empowering educators: a REGROW case study – Chartered College of Teaching
• Referring a Client to Therapy: A Set of Guidelines – ICF
• Global Code of Ethics v4, December 2025 – EMCC
• Global Code of Ethics announcement – EMCC Global
• Global Code of Ethics – Association for Coaching

Further reading (not drawn on unless listed above):

• Whitmore, J. (1992; 4th ed. 2009; 5th ed. 2017). Coaching for Performance. Nicholas Brealey.
• Alexander, G. (2010). Behavioural coaching – the GROW model. In J. Passmore (Ed.), Excellence in Coaching (2nd ed.). Kogan Page.
• Alexander, G., & Lanza Tans, F. Coaching with the GROW model. In J. Passmore (Ed.), Excellence in Coaching (4th ed.). Kogan Page.
• Fine, A., & Merrill, R. R. (2010). You Already Know How to Be Great. Portfolio Penguin.
• Landsberg, M. (1996; 2003). The Tao of Coaching. Profile Books.
• Gallwey, W. T. The Inner Game of Tennis.
• Grant, A. M. (2011). Is it time to REGROW the GROW model? The Coaching Psychologist, 7(2), 118–126.
• Passmore, J., & Cantore, S. (2012). Top Business Psychology Models. Kogan Page.
• Hullinger, A. M., & DiGirolamo, J. A. (2018). Referring a Client to Therapy: A Set of Guidelines. International Coaching Federation.
• Cranwell-Ward, J., Bossons, P., & Gover, S. Mentoring: A Henley Review of Best Practice. Palgrave (via Elan handout).

Not reachable: Whitmore's 2009 commentary PDF (web.archive copy blocked) and Grant 2011 on CiteSeerX (blocked).